Online dating in your 50s

[Feelingfree]

I have been single for 3 years now. Married 27 years (he had affair) but now in a happy, content place and thought I would try OLD.

It seems mid 50s is a bit of an odd age - men my own age seem to want younger. The men looking at my profile are in their 60s and 70s. Plus I have short hair - is this really a no no for men? I look ridiculous with longer hair so it's not an option to grow it.

I've been doing it three weeks but as yet have spoken to no-one. As you can guess I'm feeling a bit fed up already. I'm with eharmony and telegraph. Perhaps it's just not for me.

Any advice appreciated - thanks.

Hi there, I’m afraid I don’t have any good knowledge about this (I’m 40) but I was reading online stuff about dating & came across a book called Late Love by Wittenberg-Cox - could be worth checking out?

There is also some articles about this on the divorcedgirlsmiling website:

www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com/women-dating-over-50-are-we-in-no-mans-land/

Good luck xx

I haven’t done it but have friends who have. The general consensus has been similar to what you’ve said, men in their fifties want to date women ten years younger and you’ll get messages from men in their 60s! I don’t have any friends who’ve successfully dated online (as In ended up in a LTR). Those that have met partners have met through friends or hobbies/mutual interests.

From all the posts I’ve read on here, it does seem like wading through treacle OP. Good luck though

I found it tricky, and have pretty much given up.

I agree with article, we're a bit stuck in the middle. Perhaps men in their 50s often still hope for that sexy 40-something, or even 30 something . Some women in their 50s can pull that off of course, but its all a bit of a strain unless you're naturally youthful and zesty . Men in their 60s etc probably more happy to have some interesting companionship without expecting Michelle Pfieffer, but as you say is 60s and beyond is probably a bit too old if you're in your 50s.

I have to say I just gave up, and am quite happy about my decision really, it mostly feels quite relaxing ...

Join the Dating Thread in Relationships. There is a wide range of ages but I'd guess mostly older. I'm almost 51 and don't have any problem getting dates. I aim for men slightly younger than me in my preference age range. Try POF and Tinder. Paid sites in my experience aren't any better, same people on all sites.

Strangely I do get responses from much younger men (30s and even 22 for god sake) but we all know what they are after.

Thanks for link @Moffa, I did have a read.

I'll look up the dating thread as well @TooOldForThis67

My friend is on tinder and has lots of reponses but she is very attractive.

I was briefly single in my 50's and did OLD and found it ok. I didn't have my photo on because of my job but still got lots of replies. Make sure your profile information is different from the rest so it stands out. Met someone nice who I went out with for quite a while. No longer together but that was my choice. I have friends who met their husbands on OLD so don't give up. Widen your net. Try the free sites. My friend paid to go on all the sites, and was on the free ones and said the same men were on all of them. I can't imagine many men using the telegraph site tbh. Finally I do think men prefer long hair, sorry.

I'm late forties and on plenty of fish(pof). It's free. Once you have made your profile you are able to hide it,which means you can search and just send a friendly hi to anyone that catches your eye.
It sometimes can be a bit soul destroying when you can see someone look at your profile and not reply,but this is normal. Just keep going!
You will find the same men on all the sites and the ones I've met have pretty much all been lovely and respectful.
Come and join us on the dating thread where you will get support as it's a real rollercoaster sometimes

I divorced in my late 40s and had a lot of attention online but I had tarted myself up a bit. I did meet some nice guys (also awful angry ones) and had a relationship but gave up for a few years.

I recently thought what the hell and signed up again and it is definitely slim pickings in the mid-50s range . Also my photos are a bit more normal, not dressed up on a night out, as I can’t be arsed with all the effort these days.

I also have had approaches from young guys looking for ‘fun’ which although tempting is not what I am looking for.

Agree that the same guys are on all the sites.

I married my second date. Met him aged 56
Married him aged 63
Been together 11 years next week
Getting old and cranky together now 😂

Yes we were both on pof

Glad you started this post. I'm in my 50's & debating online dating. A customer I served at work mentioned Ok Cupid. She was our age & had lots of dates. I find it all abit nerve wracking. Swing from scared stiff, to what the hell
Keep us updated on how you get on x

I’m 56 and have been on Match, Bumble and Tinder. After a 30 year, latterly sexless, relationship I really just wanted to make sure I could still have sex. Have had no problems finding men in their 50s who are up for that, which has done loads for my confidence. Am now trying to find someone for a serious relationship, although to be honest I’m not completely convinced that’s what I want.

I’m not particularly attractive, I’m a 16, tall with glasses and shortish hair. But I am quite naughty and I think there is a certain twinkle in my eye in my profile pics. That’s what I’m told anyway.

Just go for it.

I haven't tried it myself but have several friends in your age group who have & from that I'd say no contact means you've been very lucky. I was shocked at the amount of unsolicited dick pics & very crass messages my friends have been sent & invites for a shag, consensus seems to be at mid 50s, you'll be desperate enough to accept any old shite. All 3 are very attractive women with long hair. Non of them have had any offers worth replying too, just ignorant chancers who wouldn't dare approach them in real life

Thanks for the replies.

I did try Bumble for a week and had over 100 likes - that was an eye opener and a bit to full on for a novice online dater like me. Young men, swingers you name it.

It's nice to hear postive stories @dowser

@CassettesAreCool - I find the thought of going to bed with someone very daunting after so long with one person - I admire your bravery.

OP it was daunting as I’d been with the same man from 22 to 54, and I chickened out a couple of times, but once I realised it could actually happen - I honestly thought Id never have sex again - I wasnt so much brave as unstoppable. I think I have what they call Silver Surge - libido with menopause has rocketed. Anyway, I’ve found it very life-affirming and have no regrets at all. It’s not for everyone, but it can work.

Also, it’s a numbers game so you have to go with the sites that have most traffic, which is Tinder in most areas. It’s not just for hookups or youngsters, though it can be (shall we say) eye-opening!

Thanks Cassettes, I'll look forward to my silver surge 😀