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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this normal for SC

3 replies

NewNameYetAgain · 05/07/2019 14:01

I focussed a lot on work for a long time, so when I got asked out I thought maybe it's good timing as I had more time to socialise, I knew the guy had grown up DC, I've never had SC of any age before. I have done my best with them, they know I'll help with anything, I gifted one a retreat experience for 2 people (a gift from work for performance) so I thought all was ok.

Then last weekend something I thought SD & I had sorted, I get DP moaning about it, how he's seen what's been said. It sounds really one sided. At the time I didn't know what to say, as firstly I thought it was sorted between SD & I, secondly she's had so much from me in a multi faceted way. Thirdly she's off on this amazing retreat, which I thought she'd be happy about.

It's made me wary of SD as to me it was underhand, there's no point addressing it with DP as blood is thicker than water. DP has no idea about all I've done for SD.

The part I'm struggling with is motive, that's really bringing up the trust side of things. I feel I really need to be on guard with whatever I say.

I don't comprehend what was gained from her doing this. She knows I'm really big on each of them getting quality time with their Dad. I make sure we have family outings & dinners several times a week. I really try my hardest to make things the best they can be.

I guess that's why it feels like a slap in the face.

Should I try and talk to DP and say I honestly thought it was dealt with, thus being in a bad mood. I'm worried if I do that though, something so silly, will then be a big issue.

Would you take it as a warning sign on who to trust?

OP posts:
MyMumisMarv · 05/07/2019 14:45

Your post is a bit confusing?
How old is SD and how long have you been seeing her dad?

What was the disagreement about and how did you sort it?

Was the retreat a peace offering? Could she see it as your way of trying to manipulate her after a falling out?

hellsbellsmelons · 05/07/2019 14:58

How grown up?
Because she doesn't sound very grown up.
I'd stop with the gifts etc.....
That was yours to use with your DP.
Do the SC live with you both?
In who's house?

Chamomileteaplease · 05/07/2019 17:44

Yes I'm afraid your post is very confusing and unclear.

I agree with a PP, stop with all the gifts. And stop organising family dinners etc. Let your DP sort stuff out with his children.

And why on earth would you give such a great gift away?? You can't buy love and respect as I am sure you know!

Calm down and let things develop.

With regard to the issue you spoke about - I understood none of it.

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