Love or infatuation?

[SMellisa]

Would really appreciate some opinions on this.

I recently have been seeing a lovely guy for the past 2 months. He is a mutual friend of mine so we have been hanging out with our friend group for drinks, we haven’t yet had alone time. None of our friends know these feelings we have about each other.

I have his number so we are texting quite often. He has admitted he likes me also but I’m not sure to the same extent as me!

Here are some of the things I have been experiencing…

• I think about this guy all the time and I mean ALL the time... even when I’m food shopping with people around me, in the middle of a busy public place, or even when I’m so busy at work at 2pm in the afternoon. Even when my mind is occupied with someone else he is still there.

• First thought when I wake up and when I go to sleep

• I overthink what I am saying to him on text messages and if he doesn’t respond I am obsessive until he texts back (usually very quick), I am then worrying if I have said the wrong thing?!

• I get butterflies when I see him/ feel like im in another world/ on cloud 9

• He makes me nervous, this sounds bizarre but I can’t eat round him at the moment… haven’t even had our first date so god knows how that will go!

• He likes EVERYTHING on my social media (all of them) and I like everything on his

• I get jealous easily when I see he has been out with others, etc.

• I get a buzz/ feel high when a text pops up on my phone from him- I also will ALWAYS respond to him on text, with others I can leave it a few hours until I remember to text them back but with him it’s immediate- I have to constantly be talking with him.

• I cannot imagine not ever seeing him again or talking to him again

• I worry and care about him and want him to be happy (he’s had troubles recently with family)

That is mainly everything I can think of.
I knows some of these sound crazy and pathetic (I’m not a crazy person I promise!) but I have never felt like this before about anyone. We have only met a total of 3 times in a few months!
This feeling has sort of hit me like a ton of bricks. I haven’t known this guy for long at all so I’m very confused with this. Maybe it is too early for love? I don’t know…

Anyone else felt like this before with someone? What are your experiences?

Thank you

Definitely sounds like infatuation. Obsessive thoughts are not love, you haven’t even had any alone time with him! Do you have low self-esteem? Because you seem to be relying on a man to make you feel happy & take your mind off your day to day life and that isn’t healthy.

@MustardScreams I do suffer with low self esteem unfortunately. He pays me lovely compliments which helps. We have not had proper alone time one on one. We've been alone whilst others haven't been near us/ in the room if that makes sense and it was lovely and I felt as ease. But not enough to have a proper conversation off the phone !

Mmm I think it's quite normal to be preoccupied with someone when you first meet. But what you are describing with the obsessive thoughts and the anxiety sounds more like limerance to me - especially seeing as you haven't actually spent any time alone with him.

Try reading through this and see if it rings a bell -

postmalesyndrome.com/limerence-vs-love/

Google "limerence", you will find your answers there hopefully!

Oh yes, limerence, been there, it's a very odd thing.

I experienced it last year....thought I was going nuts!!!

Thank you all, I have never actually heard that word before! I will google it no doubt it'll be exactly what I've described x