10+4 and 3 MONTH MARRIAGE IS IN TROUBLE- Advice Please!

[EileenO]

Apologies in advance for the rant, but I really do feel like I'm at my wits end. My DH and I got married 3 months ago and it seems like everything's been an up hill struggle ever since. I'm not really sure what's gone wrong because before the wedding, things were pretty close to perfect. Now all we seem to do is argue. When we speak on the phone during the day, everything is fine, but as soon as we clap eyes on each other in the evening it's a completely different story. Either he's winding me up or vice-versa. I think that my change in attitude is largely down to pregnancy hormones, but I have no idea where his is coming from.
We had another arguement this afternoon which ended with him suggesting that we terminate the pregnancy. He said that he feels that now is not the right time for us to be having a baby and that there would be plenty of time for "that sort of thing" in the future. He said that he thinks that for now, we need to concentrate on building a stable future together, both financially and emotionally. I was completely gobsmacked. First of all I want this baby and secondly, this baby was planned.
Just don't know what's going on and have no idea what to do, so any advice would be gratefully received!

I think you have to tell him that it's not an option as you want this baby so you need to work on building a stable future, as he said, for you, him and your child.

The early months are knackering and it's probably come as a shock to the system for him as well but you need to sit down and talk to each other. He sounds like he's having some serious wobbles but having a termination won't solve anything (as you know).

Eileen - so sorry to hear that it is all a bit rocky. DH and I managed to get married and have DS within 3 months within a year of meeting each other and it was me who had the massive panics and doubts and asked DH to leave.

Hormones have got alot to answer for IMO and I would not be surprise if male hormones come out in sympathy. You have done a lot - planning a wedding and pregnancy in a very shrt period of time and you now need to let this all grow steadily. You need to communicate calmly with each other - when DH I are unsteady we can only communicate by email.

Marriage is not roses every day and it is the rough times that make the good so good.

no great advice to give but it seems like he's getting scared of the impending responsibility.
My dd was unplanned and whilst my dh was over the moon I was in a blind panic for sometime.

I can honestly say the rockiest patches in our marriges have been when I've been pregnant.

Having a happy marriage is hard work and having a happy marriage when your PG with hormones raging makes it even harder still.

I hope it all smoothes out soon for you eileen.