I'm currently pregnant and the baby's father is a man I've had quite a rocky relationship with for 2 years.
He tells me he loves me but that he thinks we're too different to have a future (he's been saying this for the last 2 years). We agreed that having a baby isn't a reason to move in together either but he wants to be involved and make financial provision for the child.
Here's the thing though, even though he's 'not sure' about me he was always the one contacting me and wanting to meet up. Now that I'm pregnant, he is messaging me all day and has become controlling.
Some examples;
I'm on sertraline and have been for 4 years. It's a miracle drug for me. My youngest dd was born 11 years ago and afterwards I had to spend some time in a mother & baby psychiatric ward. I was really quite unwell. I never want to go back to that place again. The GP and midwife said I should absolutely continue with the sertraline but the baby's dad kept chipping away at me about it until finally I came off it, he was sending me articles about babys born without limbs whose mothers took sertraline. Afterwards I started to feel really unwell. When I told him this he said I should eat more fruit or go for a walk and said 'don't get into the mindset that you're ill'
Two weeks ago I had a nasty UTI. He contacted me saying he felt that the infection had got into the umbilical cord and could hurt the baby.
He has a grown up dd who won't speak to him and he's been trying to meet her to tell her about the baby but she won't see him. He turned really nasty on me because I happened to have been having a discussion with someone at my work about the fact I'm pregnant and she happens to know him and his daughter. Not well. But knows who they are. He said I've caused trouble for him because this person might tell his daughter (not likely as they are not even actual friends) and he wants her to find out from him. I should also say that his son knows but he told his son he is not to tell his sister.
When I got upset about the above situation he told me that I have no empathy which is something he repeatedly tells me. How on earth could I possibly know who may or may not know his daughter? He tells me I need to apologise (not the first time)
Anyway I told him that his behaviour is emotionally abusive and that I need a stress free pregnancy. He blew up my phone and the one time I answered it his voice sounded threatening so I put the phone down. He then sent me a messaging saying I am making serious allegations against him and he's afraid to talk to me again in case I accuse him of something else. And he says what about all the nice things he has done for me.
He has now blocked me. Good in a way, because I don't want to hear this constant badgering every day about the state of my health and perceived risks he has notions of about the baby.
But I feel so guilty because he has done some nice things for me and if I see him I feel that I do love him. It's very confusing and I feel I've let our child down if we can't get on. I go over and over it thinking is this my fault. But I also feel he can be nasty to me.
If you read to the end of this you deserve a medal!