*Trigger Warning suicide* Unhappy relationship

[YouCantTourniquetTheTaint]

I'm not quite sure what to do tbh. I have been with DP for two and a half years. I am his first proper partner. His ex accused him of all sorts, it was all disproved. They weren't together long, it wasn't a proper relationship iyswim.

It was good when we met, and I loved him until his argument with his DM, he was shouting at her, it was really nasty. And recently when he has a bad day there will be snippy, petty arguments. And all we will do is snip at each other. I feel so trapped, he has said in the past that he will commit suicide if I leave, and I know its emotional manipulation. I don't like who he has been recently.

Compounding all this is the news that my ex fiance has died. He's that ex, the one that with all the will in the world couldn't work out. I am devastated. And I know that its clouding my judgement.

Add to the mix my mental health illness and physical illness. Talking therapies has done sweet fa to help. I need to talk but I've got no one to talk to. In that regard he really understands it, and helps me.

I just want to run away, move somewhere new and start afresh. But I'm trapped. I don't know which way is up right now.

Shit the bed that is an essay. It seems like just a stream of thought. I hope it makes sense.

Red flags flying high tonight.

This man will destroy you if you stay with him. He is nasty to his own mother, accuses his ex of lying about him, do you really believe him?

He knows you have health issues and threatens suicide even knowing your ex fiancé has passed away.

Get away from this horrible man, run run run

It's not manipulation, it's blackmail.

It's emotional blackmail threatening to commit suicide over you ending the relationship, and it's done by abusers. As is being nasty and shouting at your DM like he has.

Speak to Women's Aid about him, and how to stay safe. Men who threaten this can become very dangerous very quickly.

You can't stay with someone because they threaten suicide, you just can't, it's no way to live. It must be very difficult though. Do you want to talk about your ex with us?

You know what you need to do OP.
If he was even to consider carrying out his 'threat', that's on him, not you.

Yes, my two-penn’orth is that this is abuse. I’m sorry you are having such a bad time right now and that talking therapies didn’t help. Right now I think you need people to support you in leaving: who is in your life? Sounds like he’s tried to do a number on your life outside being with him. Get the people who care on side and strengthen yourself. Do you work? Are their colkeagues to talk to, if so? Domestic abuse services in your area could help you too as this sounds like emotional abuse. You are immersed in this situation and that may be why talking therapies didn’t help - you need practical support right now and maybe some more talking with a therapist later.

You need to get away from this man. He is not helping you, he is dragging you down. Of course your head is addled - it's in his interests to make sure this is the case, because if you can see clearly, you'll see how toxic and dangerous he is. But he'll be nice to you because he wants to keep you sucked in. Beware his niceness as much as his nastiness.

The safest step to take is to raise his suicide threats to the police, they will need to complete a welfare check, they will make sure he is offered help.

It's important to realise his life is not your responsibility [no matter how much he tries to make it so, trying to make it so is abuse]

Please get out. This is no way to live.

Why do you feel trapped?
You know if he commits suicide (highly unlikely) that it's his decision and nothing to do with you.
You cannot be held hostage over something like this.
Please get your exit plan in place.
Womens Aid can help if you need it.
Do you have family who can help you get away?