BF confusing me on wanting to conceive

[CrystalNva]

My Bf of 3 years has always said he wants a child of his own. I have 2 from my previous marriage and I would be thrilled to be the mother of his child. We recently went on a vacation to his hometown and while standing in line to a main attraction there he said that we would have to do this all over again in 10 years with our child. Then later his mom and I were talking about me getting pregnant and he came in the room and asked what we were talking about then when I attempted to tell him he interrupted me to talk about donuts. It seems like he does this a lot. He makes references to us having a child but then when conversation spurs he shuts it off. He’s told me he doesn’t want to know what I do regarding birth control (whether I take it or not) do it seems he’s open to pregnancy but then he does stuff like that so I don’t know what he really wants. Any advice?

He wants to trap you, blame you for getting pregnant and "trapping him", leave you to do all the work, including looking after him as he increasingly devalues, ignores and possibly abuses you. His mother will also suck. The End.

Why on earth would you be thrilled to have a child with a man like that?Seriously, why?!

Tell him that you want to be married before you have children with him. That way he has to very actively show you that he wants children.

On no account take the initiative and allow yourself to become pregnant without this guy's unequivocal consent. He'll be an arse about it.

Though, in fairness, I wouldn't want to discuss the idea of having a baby with other family before the firm decision to TTC had been made.

Please don’t be stupid enough to have a child with him
Maybe think about the children you have already

He doesn’t want a baby with you from everything you say. He’s not behaving like an adult who’s willing to have a proper discussion about it and his attitude to contraception is laughable. Please take precautions even if he won’t because he’s not going to hang around if you get pregnant.

I really want donuts. Sorry.

He’s a good man. He really loves my kids and teaches my son things his father doesn’t. He’s really good to my daughter as well.

@PickAChew his mom tells me he’s not good at making decisions and things just have to happen for him. This is just a big thing to just “happen” tho so I don’t feel right making that decision for him. I know you’re right tho and I can’t have a child with him until I can have a conversation with him about it like an adult. It’s one of those things where I needed to hear some sense from others to do what’s right...as silly as that sounds.

Sure crack on with it then.,,
Good luck to you - I’d say you’ll need it

What fresh hell

Why are you taking to his mother about TTC? Why mention it at all to anyone, it's private!

Why do you want to have a child with a child? The man cannot commit or make decisions, do you not find that a huge turn off?

When it's just the two of you talking about TTC, it's like a little bubble, nobody else is involved. He can continue to keep you sweet with 'just imagines'. Bring his DM into the equation and suddenly there's someone to be accountable to. Someone who will ask, and keep asking, whether you are trying yet.

I think Haffiana has it spot on - his reaction to the idea of getting married will be very telling.

He’s a good man. He really loves my kids and teaches my son things his father doesn’t

Sorry OP, he sounds like an utter cock, who’s going to blame you for getting pregnant. He sounds nasty, sly and not to be trusted

Your relationship bar here is so low an ant could walk under it.

What on earth are you thinking here re this person?. He does indeed sound like an utter cock who will blame you for getting pregnant by him and at the very least he is not good relationship material.

Why are you talking to his mother about you ttc?. Honestly give your head here a real wobble.

His mother sounds fucking mental.

For fuck's sake don't get pregnant to this one. Christ almighty.
The hills -->> RUN for them.

How old are you? If he can't commit consciously then why would you want to be with him?
The it in natural stages, discuss marriage and everything that entails such as him being there and discuss children. Please don't bring a child into this accidentally. They deserve much more than their potential mum & dad having a throw away comment about a new life.

If you can't raise the issue then he is not a long term bet.

Get some self respect and find a man that is worthy of you and your children.

Ask him if he wants to get married ? His answer will test the strength of genuine commitment. If he doesn't want marriage, then absolutely do not have children with him.

Meanwhile get a depo jab, have a coil inserted and make him wear a bloody condom. Do not let an 'accident ' happen. !

I would strongly advise against having a child with a man who cannot even discuss contraception in a mature manner.