Does the truth come out when drunk?

[Blushingm]

I need some opinions - please?

I have a bf. but we live an hour apart and I work full time plus I have 2 teenaged dc.

He doesn't work as he's waiting for back surgery (he's a fully qualified skilled carpenter).

We see each other every Friday and I stay over. He always says how he wishes we could see each other more often. He drinks - I think out of boredom and loneliness - usually 2 nights a week and gets drunk (I know this isn't healthy and so does he).

Any way when he drunk he always seems to question our relationship- says things like he loves me so much but wonders if we would be better off if we found people closer to where we live etc.......some times he gets quite nasty saying that it's not a proper relationship, he wants someone he can see several times a week whenever the feeling takes him etc etc.

When he's sober he says that I shouldn't listen or believe the things he says.....but I worry the truth comes out when he's drunk - he just can't admit it when he's sober

I think people leak a lot of truth when they’re drunk. It’s your inhibitions that are affected by alcohol, not your innermost thoughts. They stay the same.

Anyway yes, he sounds quite a handful tbh...are you up for that? A needy, nasty, manipulative drunk who blames drinking for his bad behaviour?
You don’t have to settle for this guy.

Why are you with him. He sounds like a loser on a downward spiral.

I think you're on a hiding to nothing here. In my experience alcohol does let you see the true character of someone who's able to create a veneer the rest of the time. I ended a relationship with a guy who was wonderful 90% of the time but he was an utter bastard when drunk. And would decent his position sober to excuse those statements and sentiments. Once I saw that side of him I knew I'd never trust him 100%, so for me there was no point.

I would call it a day.

Regardless of whether they are his true thoughts or feelings, he is getting so drunk on a regular basis that he is out of control of what he is saying (or doing). However he is still responsible for upsetting you - he choses to drink.

Being incapacitated by alcohol is not a legitimate defence in court for actions commuted when drunk.

Whether he means it or not, he can't use the drink as an excuse. What if he ends up assaulting you when drunk. Is that ok? No.

It's not good and I would end it.

One episode like this might be forgivable if he was mortified, apologetic, and he took steps to stop it happening again. But this isn't the case - he just tells you to ignore him.

There is nothing worse than a bad drunk. They are usually bad news.

What’s his relationship history?

I don’t think that drinking to the point of getting tipsy 2 nights a week assuming it isn’t interfering with him working or caring for children (assuming he has any) is that big a deal. But if you’re only seeing him once a week and he’s getting drunk and being a jerk, that is.

I don’t think people actually say what they really mean when drunk, so I wouldn’t overthink that. But he still doesn’t sound like a pleasant person to be in a relationship with.