Should I take him back?

[Sunsetsandcloudyskies]

So Iv been NC with my ex for a couple of weeks and he’s messaged to ask to talk, Iv not replied yet as I don’t know what to do.
He said he had met a few girls off OLD, and none of them come close to how I made him feel. I was also told by a friend of mine that he was out in town drunk with a female “friend” last week (who has a massive crush on him)
We were great together and I miss him and the amazing times we had.
But I'm afraid he’s going to hurt me all over again and next time we have an argument it will just be the same.

Should I just keep NC or see what he has to say, I’m not sure what to do. I’m really enjoying being single for now as I have lots planned over the summer with my friends but come winter I’ll be lonely again and he made everything so special last year. We were together for 11 months

No you shouldn’t take him back. Yes you should stay NC.

It's understandable you miss what you had. The good times, but I'm assuming there was a big reason why you went NC with him at first. Was he dating other girls then from OLD?

I'd be more concerned that, if you meant anything to him he would have contacted you before he went dating other women.

Do you not think think it’s worth another go? Iv never missed anyone like I miss him. Oh I wish this was easy. Do you think he could of realized how good things were with us and had a change of heart and want to make things better again?

If he really means what he says and he really wants to make a go of it then he will put the effort in. So I wouldn’t reply this time. Just carry on with your plans and enjoying life being single. He’ll still be around next week, next month, next year, and if he wants to make it work he will show you.

Just ignoring him for a few weeks then jumping as soon as he gets back in touch will show him he can mess you about and know you’ll still be his fall back when he has a quiet spell on OLD...

No one pandered to him enough, then he realised he had it good with you. Christ, woman, don't take him back. A man of shallow feeling, who wants to bond you back into service telling him how utterly superb he is.

Yuck. Leave him where he lies. 🗑

No he didn’t go OLD before we split or at least I don’t think so, it was lots of little arguments about loads of silly things and we stopped having fun basically. I have 2 children (12 and 9) and he has 1 (6) and we both have stressful full time jobs

You are not No contact, you are No Response. No Contact doesn't mess with your head like this, and is why you need it. You prevent him from contacting you in any way,shape or form, including going No Contact with people who have contact with him.

If he treated you badly enough to justify this, then no, he won't change.

And in any case, the minute you take him back, in his mind you prove you will tolerate his shit and he won't change.

the only win is to go properly No Contact and maybe you are saving humanity from the worst of him by prompting him to look to himself (but you won't be - leopards stay leopards).

NC for two weeks and hes already been on several dates!!?

Raise your bar by a million miles and fuck him off for good!

Come the winter you might have a guy who really appreciates you!

You’re a safety blanket. It’s perfectly understandable to miss someone, but you’re missing what was and what was can rarely ever be resurrected. Why did you split up? When you’re so used to someone being there and suddenly they’re gone, it’s a massive adjustment. Give yourself time to adjust, enjoy your summer being single and have fun!

I’m assuming the other women were to make himself feel better after we finished because he has assumed I’m also seeing someone else he told my friend in town last week although she didn’t correct him. I will stay NC or no response and not reply and see if he puts the effort in. I think that’s the best idea and see how I feel in another couple of weeks. I was doing so well before his message. It will be so hard to not reply so I’m going to delete it and delete his number from my phone now so stop me replying

Well done op!

That's a great idea OP. Give yourself more time, after all he went straight on OLD and tired to replace you. Regardless if he thought you were with someone.

As a PP said, if he wants you he'll keep trying then you can see how you feel.

I find deleting their number works too

@Sunsetsandcloudyskies he told you that the other women do not make him feel the way you did...
What absolute BS.
Your relationship isn't based only on how he feels or how you boast his ego.
You were together for only 11 months, your not even near the honeymoon period being over and he hurt you.

Chances in relationships are the biggest mistake 99% of the time.
Once a person male or female gets away with a behaviour it's easier to do it again.
If you separate again after giving him a chance it will be a lot worse for you because your feel a fool!

Doesn’t sound like a classy guy. He’s hurt you once. He’s likely to do it again. We’ve all been there