Breaking up, confused

[happyfrog1]

I am in the process of breaking up with my partner of 6 years. We have a five year old son, and we are not spring chickens - I'm 41, dh is ten years older. I've been wanting out intermittently for much of our relationship - I don't think we were ever in love, and though we get on well, most of the time, and are good co-parents, there is no spark; sadly I don't fancy him, although I have tried (for years) to make myself. I've stayed because the upheaval for us all is so great. Dh wants joint custody, and I think this is the good thing, as he and our son have a good relationship. But financially it is going to be very hard on both of us, and is already becoming a little acrimonious re who will stay in our home. I think dh would be ok to stay living together, and perhaps start new relationships with other people (he is more interested in this than me - it's his MO, where I feel confused and shell shocked still, even though I've instigated the split - nowhere near ready for another relationship.) I guess I'm hoping to hear stories from others who took the leap and didn't regret it. Anyone out there?

If you’re at the stage where you want to split up, with all of the emotional and practical trauma that’ll come with, then it’s the right decision. I don’t sense there’ll be any regret on your behalf.

As you’re the person leaving the relationship it’s only fair if you’re the one to move out, to give him space to heal without you there reminding him constantly, why should he have to be the one to physically leave? If you want 50/50 custody then that works well as your child will still have the family home half of the time. You need to make a decision and end the painful limbo, find somewhere else to live and start moving.