Before DH came home with his DD my friend came round to see his DD and I was telling her that I wasn't sure if it was PMT but lately DH has been annoying me. DH and his DD came home.
The catalyst of the argument was me trying to make a joke about somebody we had met the previous week and I got that persons occupation wrong basically. DH didn't understand what I was talking about due to the person being an ambulance driver and not a fireman (as I had said). Oops....is that so bad as to get a scrunched up face derogatory response from DH to something along the lines of "well what am I supposed to know what your going on about when your talking about a fireman". I just responded by telling him there was no need to be so patronizing. I feel like there was no need for his sarcasm and to respond in the way he did.
My friend went home and DH and his DD went out for a walk. I went to text my friend, the exact words were "do you think he talks/expresses himself to me like shit or is it me" (ie PMT). Unfortunately the text went to him! I also sent it to my friend after I noticed my mistake mainly because she will tell me straight, she knows us both and I trust her to be partial.
All hell broke lose when DH got home. Took me upstairs for a talk, I tried to explain that it was just a question to a trusted friend for my own peace of mind, was it me taking him the wrong way or not, nothing else in it. He completely flew of the handle, wouldn't listen, telling me I shouldn't be discussing our marriage with anybody but him (I needed an independent view as obviously he would just say it was me), how I have been slagging him off behind his back (I haven't), he cant trust me anymore, no wonder my phone has great security (no that's just the phone), how I have betrayed him, he should never have let me into his DD's life (been together 8 years!), he has done everything for me and this is how I repay him. The list goes on. I went to the bedroom as I didn't want to be arguing in front his DD (we were downstairs again at this point) and to try and put a bit of space between us so he could calm down. He continued up and down the stairs giving me horrible verbal until I told him to get out of the bedroom and leave me alone. He still wouldn't. This was all Tuesday night and he hasn't stopped with the verbal diarrhea since. In fact he took his DD home, she stays at ours on Tuesdays (my fault even though I attempted to calm the situation by walking away) and DH didn't come home Tues night (something I used to get days worth of verbal for). I ignored him last night, didn't say a word. He continued for around 2 hours with his verbal, its just flies of his tongue. I went to bed and after around half an hour he came up, woke me up, still trying to argue (he has been sat on the bed waiting for me to wake before today). Even when I try to explain that he has blown this way out of proportion and argue back, he constantly talks over me and doesn't listen, just tells me what such a bad person I am.
I slapped his hand this morning in frustration (I know I shouldn't have but his verbal is constant and I lost it a little). I feel like he just pushes and pushes until he gets the answer he wants, provoking me. I wouldn't answer his calls at work yesterday and he proceeded to ring my works phone and then my employers mobiles direct (we are more friends than anything but it is still my employers). Told him to stop with his bully boy tactics. His response...well answer my calls then!
I have tried to apologise and explain where I was coming from but he wont give up. It is constant from day until night and from previous experience, he won't give up until I grovel to him telling him I did a horrible thing.
I just don't feel that a simple question to a friend should create all this. I find it pathetic and totally unreasonable, very OTT. Every one of my friends/family have somebody to talk to. Even he has confided in friends in the past and his friends to him, why is it such a big deal for me to do it? Or am I in the wrong?
Sorry for ranting xx