I don’t understand the lies!!! Ranty

[IAmSoFree]

Unfortunately a couple of weeks ago I found out the man I considered the love of my life has been lying to me for the last three years, awful awful disgusting lies. I think pretty much everything he told me was rubbish. I had my suspicions for a long time but he always denied it, he’s the most excellent liar I’ve ever met.
I’ve seen posts like this on here before sadly, so I know I’m not the only one. I just cannot understand why he did it, surely the truth, even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear would have hurt less! Thank you for reading this, I’m just a mess atm, haven’t been sleeping or eating, just keep asking myself why???? I’ll never get any answers from him, I don’t want any contact with him for the rest of my life. I can only conclude that he in fact never did love me at all and it was all a game to him.
Any thoughts, experiences or words of wisdom very much appreciated

Yes, I used to be married to one of those. "Why tell the truth when a lie will do" sort of person. You'll never know why he did it - your best option is no contact. All you can do is to learn from it , if that's possible. Sorry you had to experience this , OP.

You're drip feeding? How can people have thoughts or share experiences when you haven't really shared what's happened?
I'm sorry you are so upset.

Having recently split up from a skilled liar I don't have much insight but wanted to say that I know how hurtful it all is. I have no idea why some men behave like this. I always thought that people looked for a partner who loved them for who they were and that honesty was an integral part of finding that person. I think that for some people, the lies are about control and manipulation. It's really nasty but at least I can move on with integrity, knowing that I went into the relationship honestly. Hope things feel easier for you soon

Apologies for drip feed, I just can’t really say anymore because it’s quite specific and too outing. Our whole relationship was based on a lie is the general gist.
Thank you so much for the replies, I’m sorry anyone else has had to deal with something like this

I was with a man like that - his lies destroyed the relationship and destroyed me. And I still get caught up in his world of bullshit as we have a child together.

Honestly, a person like that has zero worth as a partner.

I've been there too, sorry to hear its happening to you.

Once you get through the anger and confusion its actually quite refreshing to know you're away from it.

Doesn't stop you questioning every bit of your relationship though, liars cause so much damage

sorry it can really fuck over your trust in people for a while but you'll come out other side, be grateful you escaped it & not wasted any longer on them. They're the messed up one, its natural to trust your partner.

Anyone that knows my ex thinks he's an honest & decent guy so they can be very convincing & probably want to believe their own made up narrative.
Ex told some major lies to cover infidelity & debt but after I found out & became hypersensitive I realised he actually lied loads about minor things i'd not be bothered about too I.e he'd ordered pet food & yet he hadn't.
I think reasons vary per individual, some compulsive lying is a part of mental health issue. For my ex think it's mainly a people pleaser thing & reduces potential conflict, (his dads a liar/mum sweeps issues under rug).
When he started dating again, his interests switched to mirror hers, so our relationship also felt fake from start, however that's quite sad him not having strength to own identity & interests in life that needs carrying along.