Weird relationship but works for me!

[purplelass]

I adore my DP - we've been together for 3 years and as I'm a nearly 50 year old divorced single mum who is still having issues with tosser ExH, I'm more than happy that he's not wanting to move in or marry me. We just see each other for company a couple of times a week and for a proper night out and stay over at each other's houses a couple of times a month.

He's known from the start that my mum duties come first whatever happens and generally accepts that's the way it is. I've realised that if I want a 'normal' relationship (which I really don't at the moment!) then it's not going to happen with him, but that's absolutely fine with me as I don't want to have to share my lovely little house with a man, or move in with one, and can't see that changing!

We're definitely exclusive, all his friends are my friends and see us as a couple, we cook each other lovely meals and make plans to do things together in the months ahead. He never lets me down and is 100% reliable.

If it works for us, it's fine isn't it? Or am I kidding myself? Interested to hear other perspectives...

I'm coming up to my two year wedding anniversary and I still haven't moved in with my dh. We still live 60 miles apart. It's ace ! 😆

That's awesome Onemansoapopera, love it!

I think because so many posts on MN say that if a relationship isn't heading towards cohabiting or marriage after a few years it's not worth having.

That is in a completely different situation to yours. Those posts happen on threads where the woman is in her twenties or thirties, doesn't have children yet and wants them. And yes, in that kind of case, you do want the relationship to be progressing at some kind of rate, otherwise it's fairly likely you'll end up in a situation where the bloke faffs around for years and years making vague promises about marrying/having children at some point in the future while having no real intention to ever do it and then oops, oh well, now it's too late. Or she gets fed up of waiting but is now working against a ticking clock to meet new people, find one she wants to marry/procreate with, make sure he's not secretly a tosser, plan a wedding, get married, TTC etc. A stressful situation it's sensible not to end up in if you can help it.

You (presumably) do not want any more children, don't have a biological clock to worry about and hence do not have any need for a relationship to progress in any particular direction. It's fine. Carry on.

Try not to focus on others and do what makes you happy. Relationships come in all shapes and forms.