friend doesn't reply to messages

[Cinammoncake]

I'm not a big texter, but with most friends find it pretty straightforward, we might text back and forth now and again.
However, I have a friend, let's call her Amanda, who will message me (eg, how are you?) and I'll reply with some chat and ask how she is or ask her a question, and then just nothing, no reply. It's on WhatsApp so I know she's read it and is on there a lot. It's not like she has done it just the once, this is most times.

I find it all a bit awkward tbh and I come away feeling quite crap. Is it odd to text someone and when they reply just to ignore them? or is it just something some people do?

I'm guilty of this when I'm feeling unhappy and low. I don't know why, I just find it difficult to find the energy to communicate. It is self sabotaging because my friends would have no idea why I'm being shit about replying (I hide my low mood) and doubtless feel pissed off, which makes me feel worse. In my case it has nothing to do with how much I value the friendships (which is lots). Just another perspective.

My best friend's like this, but not with texts - she just won't talk on the phone.
l don't quite understand it, she'll reply to texts and emails, if her phone rings and it's her mum or her partner, she answers it, but several times l've rung her and she hasn't answered. lf l have a missed call from someone l know, l call them back. She knows l don't just ring for a chat, if l call her there's good reason for it, but she never replies or calls back.
Otherwise she's lovely, and it bemuses me. She's said in the past that she has social anxiety, which l do understand is very difficult, but when we go out she'll chat to anyone - (she has a very distinct look (very vivid hair colours and a style that people comment on, and she seems to love it when people remark on it) and will actually go up to strangers and start conversations about their clothes, hair, etc. That's the bit that confuses me about the social anxiety, although l admit l don't know too much about it. l can't understand why she can't talk to me on the phone, but will approach a stranger in a public place. Perhaps it's the phone that's the problem? l've asked her about it and she just says she "can't talk about it" so l make allowances as she's such a good friend.

Why must we call her Amanda when you didn’t mention her by name a single other time?!

I have a friend who does this. She's rude in person too though so I don't see her much these days.

It also annoys me when you either send or reply to a message on FB messenger and people don't open it or read it for days etc but you can see they are/have been online since you sent it. Makes me feel as if me and my messages are obviously not important enough to be read 😡

One of my best friends does this, it drives me mad. She's amazing face to face but her texting is absolutely shit. Sometimes I just reply with something short, so I don't feel rejected.

Wow thanks for all the replies. Much appreciated.

No offence to anybody called Amanda of course, which is obviously not her name and I have not referred to later as you rightly said mabel

for all those who've been on the receiving end of the no repliers.

Have got the strategies now, either going to ignore, or just say fine thanks.

I literally just had a friend like this!

We worked together, really close etc. She would message me and ask how I was and talk about whatever and when I’d send a lengthy reply to her lengthy original message......nothing. Not a dot.

And then the next time she would message me she would completely dismiss the previous message she hadn’t replied too! It was so frustrating. I ended up blocking her it annoyed me that much.

Looking back I don’t think she was that good of a friend and I agree with previous posters that they think it’s a ‘being more important than you’ type thing.

Can’t be bothered. Don’t reply and let her understand how it feels.

Thanks allhopeandnoresults this thread has been very supportive and it really helps to share and know others get it.