My DP has done some things in the past that I struggled to move past. To be honest, I’m still struggling and it’s causing problems.
The main thing is that I feel that he had an inappropriate relationship with one of his colleagues. He denies this but other colleagues were noticing and commenting on it so it wasn’t just me. The worst thing was that we had made plans which he blew off at the last minute in order to take her out for a drink. This only stopped when the colleague left and got married.
We have discussed these things in great detail and have agreed to move past them. However, he says that I keep mentioning it to him. I rarely mention this but it was relevant to a discussion we were having yesterday where he was proposing to treat the colleagues replacement differently to how he treated the old colleague. I pointed out that he should afford the new colleague the same opportunities and it shouldn’t matter if one is young and one is old. Just because you find someone attractive doesn’t give you a right to treat others less favourably.
I then reminded him of the time he blew me off for the drinks and he replied he had cancelled on me as he’d received a better offer. I told him that this was hurtful and he asked how I thought he felt with me constantly berating him.
I hardly mention it but perhaps he has a point. How do I get past this? I still feel hurt about his behaviour but realistically I cannot keep talking about it.
Does anybody have any experience or tips to help me?
Thanks so much.