Ex wants to introduce DC to new partner

[Rejectthetossers]

Spilt up from ex 7 months ago and he met someone new 4 months ago whom he wants to introduce to DC age 9 & 17.
Ex is currently staying at his mother's where the boys have to share a double bed and the
17 yr old is coping less well with the split . Ex says he & NW will be getting a place together soo and thinks he'll be happy that his dad is happy where as I feel he should really be putting the kids first and concentrate on providing a home for the kids and making sure they know they are important before getting carried away with his new happiness.
AIBU or can someone help me explain to ex why it's too soon

I personally feel like 4 months isn't really long enough to be meeting the children, especially if the children are still having difficulties coming to terms with the loss of their family unit. I think for now his priority should be getting a place of his own where he can have the children in their own rooms or at least their own beds and slowly start introducing the new partner after 6 months of dating

It's difficult, because really you cant stop him

You would hope that he woildnt if the older one is struggling.

Though it's ok saying he needs to get a place of his own. Alot of the time people cant afford a place of their own until the divorce is finalised. Which is why, the main carer of the children stays in the home until the divorce.

He actually sounds like my ex. Moved in with a new woman in under a year. He split with her and now has his own house.

Now he will admit that he met her, liked her and got swept away with it. And having 2 incomes meant they could afford a decent house for the 4 kids between them and he didnt thinking out well.

But the damage was done and the kids choose to stay with me far more than him. I have had one house (they have moved 3 times in 2 years), one relationship and have a far more stable life.

They know they wont have to move with me. They know this will be their home next months and next year.

You can’t stop him but, I do feel for you.

He’s bloody selfish wanting to do that after only 4 months. What a self serving twat

You can't stop him. You would like to think they would consider the children's feeling but they are too wrapped up in their own happiness. And think it will be fine.

Of course it will be fine but the emotional fall out will land on you not him.

My ex was the same ow was at contact from day one 'as a friend'. As my son told me. 'Mum I'm not stupid'. They moved in together 12 weeks later. It stung. But I kept out of it. My eldest is now no contact and the youngest is too young to see it for what it is. But has her issues.

You can just continue to provide a stable loving home for the children. They will vote with their feet eventually.

Thanks for the responses.
I know I can't technically stop him and I'm glad he's met someone else but feel the kids need to come first at the moment and they need to know they are important & worth the effort...

Sadly with many men you hear the same pathetic bleating over and over - "what about my happiness? " . I'm sorry to say but my experience is that men will still want to see their children but the new partner will often come first .

My ex introduced after 3 months against my wishes. When I told him they found it hard going out with them together he told me he wasn't sure I wasn't making it up to get at him.....