Hi, I'm new here - I would like some help and advice but my situation is pretty complicated so please bear with me.
First and formost I am a mum to four year old daughter and she is my world but when I was pregnant with her I developed Perinatal OCD and terrible intrusive thoughts all of which were about my unborn baby and honestly it was the worst time in my life - I still find it really hard to admit that as it should be a time of excitement and happiness, I dont even really know how I made it through it. Anyway because of this awful anxiety disorder I started drinking very heavily after my daughter was born (not during) and its something that i have now become dependent on I think - although I have cut down a lot and will only drink when my daughter is asleep, but I still feel guilty about this and would like to stop altogether but I am finding it very difficult. I am also in a relationship (with my DD dad) but it can only be described at Toxic - he's emotionally abusive towards me and has even thrown things at me/pushed me in arguments, he also loves to argue but then turns it around on me like everything is my fault. And lastly, my DD was diagnosed with Autism a couple of years ago and she is currently non - verbal and has major sleep and sensory issues. I guess I am just overwhelmed by everything! I don't eve feel I have scratched the surface but any kind words would be appreciated. Thanks for reading