I can't believe what I heard

[Har23]

Update from previous thread.
After a very difficult couple of months my husband and I had, We decided to go away for the weekend. We came back tonight we had such a good time. We laughed, we loved and we just had an amazing time. Reminding me of why I love him. However on our way home my fil called. He was so cross that my husband went away. He put him down saying he's never known a man to just drop his work and leave ppl stranded for their machines and really gave him an ear full disgusted that he went awayhe then demanded he be there at first light in the morning. I shouted out that it was called having a life to which I got the cold shoulder for doing for the rest of the journey home after our fantastic time away. My DH did put up a defence although one of a small boy. In the end saying he would be there.
Is this the reason behind the excessive working hours, wat kind of father puts this pressure on his son, going as far as making him feel bad for taking his wife away. Is he the reason for my troubles. I think my husband feels he owes him for been his father. I'm so mad
How do I approach this as my DH gets extremely defensive if I say anything about his family and I mean anything.

What did the fil mean by leaving people in the lurch? Did your DH not make cover provision for going away?

I mean, did your DH let people down? It’s obviously relevant

No he didn't leave anything except 1 machine that is completely gutted and is been rebuilt. That job is taking a long time. The owner is aware my DH has another ft job and there is now rush on this as owner wants it rebuilt to become a show tractor. My Husband worked into the early hrs 3 nights this week to make sure the garage was clear all jobs complete. My fil knew this as the garage is in his yard

Who was "left stranded" then? And why is your H refurbishing tractors in hid dad's yard instead of concentrating on his FT job? It all sounds a dramatic mess, and I'm sure you shouting from the sidelines didn't help.

So it's a job that your husband does on the side separate to his FT job? What's it got to do with FIL except being in his yard?

My fil is a workaholic. My husband feels that he has to do the same in order to please his father.

Does he work for FIL?

Not enough context, is it a family business, and is your H subordinate to his father in the business?

Your H is responsible for his own actions, eg overworking, not FIL.

Are they farmers?

OK so previous thread was that your husband works a full time job and also has a hobby sideline in his parents garage which his father is involved in and his mother encourages him to come straight to theirs from work so ignores you and your daughter if I remember right?

In the previous thread, your husband came across as quite a dominant force that chooses to use you as scullery maid/unloved sexual partner (judging by the comments he made to you about your sex life). However now he is dominated by his own parents?

In both threads, you mention going away and things improve between you. However as soon as you return he puts both jobs first. Am I reading this right so far?

From what I understand, he needs to decide what he wants. His options:

1. do both jobs as he is and have no time to enjoy with you
2. Quit the hobby sideline and be resentful
3. Go part time at job and increase hobby sideline to help finances (is that viable)

Your options

1. Decide what you want
2. Telll him you want time with him

Your FIL is an ass but so are a lot of people who use work to fill their lives. They don't understand others who don't and you can't make them understand.