Need some advice and have no where to turn so gave this page a try.....
Hi everyone! So my husband and I have been married just under a year so I feel like a terrible person and embarrassed to admit I already feel this way, but then again we have been together as a couple almost 10 years.
I just don’t know if there’s anything there any more. He’s an amazing person he does a hell of a lot of me when I need any favours and also financially, we have a perfect home and he works extremely hard to provide for us which I know I am very lucky.
But as a relationship I’m confused. We don’t spend much time together with his shift pattern in his job. We have a child and struggle to get her watched so we (more him then me as he has a lot of hobbies) make plans with friends around his days off and our child also wants to sleep in my bed every night (she has autism so is stuck in this routine) therefore he sleeps in a separate bed to us. When we do eventually get time just us to which is the occasional day off, VERY RARE date night or a couple or hours catching up on telly together when our child is asleep I feel like there’s hardly any conversation. We even sit on different sofas as I’ve tried cuddling before but he doesn’t like to and prefers me sitting on the other sofa.
When it comes to sex it feels very forced and unnatural, he does often try for us to do this but I feel there is no passion and as much as he tries his hardest I just don’t feel satisfied, because of other issues in our relationship I’m not very often in the mood either.
We have dealt with a lot together over the years, our child’s diagnosis (for those who have a child with additional needs will know the strain it can cause for parents), he also swears a lot in front our child which really annoys me but he also gets wound up with the fact I’m a very untidy person. His family and I don’t see eye to eye even after 9 years I’ve never fully had their approval and he’s always sided with them no matter how upset they’ve made me (we come from very different types of family his are very close wether mine aren’t), he bought us a house but refused to put me on the mortgage as I spend what I would towards a house towards our wedding instead so we could get married sooner than later - he also earns about 3x more than me (he also calls it “his” house not “ours”)
For me, there’s just no spark, I miss that feeling of getting “butterflies” and having passion in a relationship. I’ve tried talking to him but just makes digs and doesn’t get it he’s like “just leave then”.
The thought of being a single parent a dealing with the shame of separating so quickly as getting married scares me. I don’t have many friends and aren’t very close to my family so feel so alone already, when my husbands gone the only person I feel il have in my life is my daughter.
Where do I go from here?