My DH doesn't want me

[Justonedayatatime11]

Really don't want to post in sex. DH and I have been together 2 and a half years, married for 6 months. We've had sex once since our wedding. I'm at a total loss.
I feel so rejected, hideous and unwanted.
It hasn't always been like this, it seems to be the past year he just doesn't want me anymore. He always seems to have an excuse; he's ill, I'm ill, DD is around, too tired, too hot etc etc. I've given up trying to instigate anything because I can't handle any more rejection.
I've tried to talk to him about it countless times and he just gets defensive. I've asked him if it's me, he says not. I just don't know what to do. Yes there's an age gap between us, I'm 33, he's 48, but surely that's no excuse? Yes I've put on half a stone since we met but he says it's not that either.
I don't know what to do. I feel like a freak. I don't want to be without him but I can't carry on like this.

Is your dd his? How old is she?
Is he wanking a lot?
Is he with someone else?
Has he tried and failed, lost confidence?

If you have a dd and married this husband after only being together two years, wasn't that a bit hurried? Whose idea was that?

In the end, I don't suppose any of those things matter. If you don't want a sex-free life, you might have to ltb.

Sit him down and tell him you want a straight and honest answer or this isn't going to work for you.

Possibilities: low sex drive, covert narcissism, asexuality, he's getting it elsewhere, erectile disfunction, something that is stressing him putting him off sex, he just past it...could be anything.

But you gotta have a firm sit down chat and explain that you need to know what the problem is and he needs to work with you towards fixing it. And if he can't give you a straight answer or if he does but then doesn't work with you in resolving the issue - might be time for you to walk.

You’ve only been together a short time and already have a child together.
Perhaps know he knows you better he’s realised you’re not the one for him

How old is DD? Neither DH nor I have felt much like sex since our DD was born and while I'm totally fine with that now, I definitely wouldn't have been in the first couple of years because back then I felt totally rejected and undesired if DH didn't want to have sex, whereas now we've been together longer I'm more secure and know that sometimes people just go through phases where they're not really in the mood. Personally I'd be less worried about the lack of sex (which I suspect is down to a combination of having a young child, his age and performance anxiety / pressure of it having been so long) and more worried about him not talking to you about it. If I were you I'd make it clear that you're not pressuring, you're not stressed, you just want to have a chat about where he is and how he's feeling and figure out a way forward that works for you both. Sex is SUCH an emotive subject - the best way to talk about it is without the emotion getting in the way.

What was your sex life like before you married?

Is he on any medication? My dh used to have a high sex drive and if i wasn't in the mood have a wank. He said he needed it every other day. He's lost interest since being put on a different medication

Find out his masturbation habits.

I'd put money on it being a prostate problem.

It really doesn’t sound personal - I think you have to start by believing him when he says it isn’t you. And tell him that you believe him, firmly.

That will take some of the pressure off him and may help him to talk about what’s the problem.

aPengTing twat

Strong possibility of it being erectile disfunction in my opinion.

I’m not being a twat. You can’t really know a person after such a short time, I’d say 2 years or thereabouts is how long it takes most people.

Its a huge risk to rush things like having a baby so fast when you barely know each other.

Re: prostate problem is he getting up in the night to pee? If you go out does he need to find a loo?

I have no advice but I am in a similar situation and it truly sucks