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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Have I been ghosted?

30 replies

GhostedGhosted · 30/06/2019 20:23

We're both 25. This guy has liked me for quite a while. He's been quite persistent.
We went on a date a few months ago but after it i was honest and said i wasnt quite ready yet as i had just come out of a 5 year relationship so was heartbroken.
Anyway, 4 months had passed and i was thinking about him a lot. We have mutual friends and in a pub i asked about him to one of his friends.
Anyway this friend let him know i was asking about him (i felt so embarrassed) and this guy sent me a message again.
I responded and we've been speaking over message for about 2 weeks.
We havent had a chance to meet up yet as he works away regularly as part of his job (he is definitely working as my friends know him well) so he is on a family holiday for a week and working for 2 weeks in another country.
But before he left, he messaged asking if i'd go for food with him when hes back and i agreed. He also asked if i'd like to go to the cinema afterwards.
He's got 2 weeks before he's back but he's been sending me pictures of the country he's in - the views. He's been telling me he cant wait to see me. Asking about my day.
Very chatty. His family holiday has come to an end and he said last night that he was flying to work today - a country closeby to where he is so it doesnt take long to get to.

My last message to him was 11pm last night saying something like 'The pictures are lovely! You're very lucky!'
I fell asleep and woke up and saw he saw the message in the early hours but never responded but he does this regurlaly where he'll wait until he knows it's morning time before he replies so i didnt think much of it.

But i didnt hear off him at 4pm, so i sent a text saying "hope youre okay; Are you back at work now?"
After i sent it, i deleted the message thread since i felt embarrassed that i double texted and thought i shouldve just waiting to see if he got in touch.
So i cant see if hes seen the message but i have seen he's been online a lot of times since that message was sent.

It's been 4 hours since i sent it and nothing from him.
I feel embarrassed because our friends have been telling me how much he likes me and i've been telling them that i think he's lovely.
He was the one that asked me for a date and im always positive back to him when we talk about seeing each other in a few weeks;

Maybe he's got bored of me or maybe he's busy since it's his first day back:
I just feel a bit stupid;
Any ideas?

OP posts:
readitandwept · 01/07/2019 15:22

Haven't you just split up (yet again) with your LDR boyfriend 4 nights ago??

GhostedGhosted · 01/07/2019 15:24

Yeah i have no intention of sending anything else, just a bit gutted because he seemed lovely,
Yeah im much more open to dating now, im passed the panic-stage

OP posts:
gubbsywubbsy · 01/07/2019 19:25

I meant beeezy ... thing is you may have made him think you weren't keen by deleting the thread .. you may have done yourself over yourself ..
what's the problem with sending messages ?

Smellbowpenisbeaker · 01/07/2019 23:17

That’s an odd message for him to send. “Head’s all over the place” could be code for “I’m not in a relationshippy place”. Hmm. You’re doing the right thing not digging. Use this as a learning experience, build up your confidence by staying aloof and move on. Every relationship has its place and reason - he’s not a keeper though.

Doesitevenmatternow · 02/07/2019 09:41

Just wait and see how it unfolds op. The initial stages are stressful but by trying to figure the other person out too quickly you can drive them away or put yourself off.

Be patient.

You'll see him when he's back. Get to know him slowly.

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