My mum is the most amazing woman in the world and has suffered so much in her life. She suffered abuse as a young girl and ended up with my dad who was violent and horrifically abusive in all aspects. She fought alcoholism, manic depression, and is still somehow there for us kids when we need her.
She lives with my older brother, older sister and my 9 yo nephew. My brother and sister offer up no financial help at all so my mum pays all bills and all rent with no help. She also practically raises my nephew single handedly mon-fri doing school pick ups and drop offs, dinner etc whilst working full time night shift so she is in a constant cycle of sleep deprivation.
She has handled this mostly well with a few down days here and there, I try to support her as best as I can but I have an 11 month old dd so it’s not easy for me to help out, also she spends a lot of time sleeping in between caring for nephew.
About 8 weeks ago her brother died really tragically, his body somehow got lost in the system so we had to spend the whole day phoning around hospitals to find him. We eventually did and went to go and see him the following day. Honestly his body was in such a bad state it will haunt me forever, I can’t even imagine how it was for my mum to see. All of my uncles arrangements were left for my mum to deal with as the rest of our family live in Ireland. She had to clear his flat on her own with no help from brother or sister as well as organise his body to be flown home and organise the funeral etc. My grandmother is suffering from bad dementia now and sadly my uncle was in the process of moving back home to care for her, now that he’s gone my grandmother is alone and I know this is weighing heavily on my mum. She has a sister too but this sister hasn’t been involved in helping at all.
She is struggling so badly now. Her house is a hoarders dream, she is spending any spare time she has sleeping, she’s overweight and has been diagnosed with diabetes though hasn’t cut down on sugar at all. She’s been on annual leave this past 2 weeks and has spent 85% of her time in bed and the other 15% crying to me on the phone. She works a job that is absolutely killing her (nhs based), I’m scared my mum is going to die. I have the most awful feeling in my stomach. I want to head to her this week and start sorting things out. My plan was to make an appointment with the GP to get her signed off, but she will never go for this, I will have to go with her and really push for it but not sure if this will work? The house is a tough one but I would love to get it sorted for her, it’s just hard with dd.
Please help me, any advice is truly welcome and if anyone has insight. My mum suffers from manic depression and is an ex alcoholic so I’m worrying about her relapsing. What can I say to my brother and sister? They are very confrontational and volatile so I have to tread carefully.
Thank you