Okay - here is a link to my previous thread.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3596639-Getting-over-a-relationship-with-a-Narcissist
How it progressed from here is:
I had stuck to the no contact rule, and hadn't messaged him at all as I was trying to get on with my life. The last time I spoke to him was when he blamed me for getting the girl pregnant. ''If you had been a better girlfriend, I wouldn't have cheated and now you've cost me my life because I'm stuck with this baby forever'' were his exact words. At this point, he was also semi blaming the girl he slept with too. (He would blame anyone to make himself look better )
A couple of weeks later, I saw a facebook post of his Aunts wedding and he took the girl with him! (Again, everything he told me about him not even liking her in that way, was rubbish)
I remained calm, had a cry, removed his aunt as a friend and started the healing process again.
Last week, I received a message from his mum saying that the girl had a miscarriage, and his mum was blaming me. Her messages were horrible stating I was ''an evil piece of work'' The last time I spoke to her, she was being pleasant saying ''the ex'' would never find someone as good as me. Although this was a few weeks ago. You can see the shock factor with this message that she sent me as I had no intention of being in touch with these people.
I then recevied a call from the ex who was shouting at me saying it was my fault too. He then called my older sister, to shout at her that this was my fault too. I didn't respond to any of his mums messages and I was very ''grey rock'' with the ex. The messages and phone calls carried on, and I just ignored them. But the night did finish with a call with the ex, and it was mostly him shifting all of the blame onto others, but I just kept saying ''I DONT WANT TO KNOW'' to stop him. All I wanted at this point was to get him to confirm that he is coming off of the tenancy agreement. Which he did, thank goodness! Only took him 3 months!
The next day, I received an apology text from his mum. The day after that, she messaged my younger sister apologising to her too, and later that day messaged my older sister to apologise. No one responded. Later that week, I received a another message from his mum asking me to pack his things and to let her know when they can be collected. I didn't respond. Yesterday, I received a letter in the post asking me to pack his things.
So, here is where I need advice please.
I am not falling for their mind games again, and quite frankly, I believe his mum is crazy. After being blamed for someone I've never even met having a miscarriage, I finally realised how low these people are, and worked out where the ex get's it from. They needed a scapegoat, and did not care who got hurt along the way.
He does have a few items here (Small bits), which he is more than welcome to message me to arrange sorting, HOWEVER, I do not want anything to do with his mum. Am I legally within my right to continue to ignore her, until my ex himself requests his things? He is 30 for goodness sakes!!! She is the sort of person to get solicitors involved, (As she is currently claiming disability benefits left right and center when there is nothing wrong with her so she plays the systems) but if she does, it will be from her and not my ex.
Do i give in and respond that his things can be collected, or do I continue ignoring her until my ex requests his things? I'm not going to deny him collecting them - well actually I'd get a mutual friend to drop them off. But I told him 2 months ago that he needed to collect them! So I am 100% certain that this is all coming from his mum.
In her letter, she also mentioned my ex still has a key for the house (Kind of felt like she was using that to kick me into action) But don't worry, what she does not know is that I changed the locks already. (Landlord is fully aware of the situation)
Part of me just feels, that if I do respond to her that she has manipulated me again and thus she gets her own way. It's been like that for 4 years and now I'm FINALLY standing my ground with both of them!
If the manchild ex messaged, I'd just be grey rock but will come to a solution to get his stuff back to him. So thats what I'd rather do. Ignore the mother, no matter what until my ex sends the request.
What would you do?
Thanks for reading this essay folks xxxx