Help? DP makes no effort at life, says he's happy?

[Summer2003]

AIBU? Expecting to much?
Really don't want to charecter assassinate my DP but can't carry on. 8 yrs together, we work together full time but don't live together. I have a DS from previous relationship. Last few years things have been strained. I've got involved with local activities & made friends. Which makes me happy. He hasn't & when I talk about them he belittles them/takes the piss. I've also started my own small side hustle biz. Again he takes the piss, when I say I'm out at a market on a weekend he seems miffed & jokes about being left to cook for himself. Meanwhile I'm working full time, plus teenager at home as a solo parent.
He also Never suggests going out, or pays me a compliment. If we do go out (gig) he's arranged when we're leaving before we've left home. (we've left 3 festivals before the last song/encore because he wants to beat the traffic!) Also jokes about how much money he has & if we rarely go 4 dinner he says things like "i'll pay for it because I know your skint" He has about 1 friend who he never makes an effort with, & the same with family. Fathers day he didn't even bother going to see his 92yr old dad who's on dialysis & lives 1.5hr away, even though he has absolutely nothing do on weekends other than watch TV, which drives me mad, especially as he always criticizes my teen for being on phone all day (which he isn't) He also gets no exercise ever, yet complains of being tired all the time,, an excuse not to do anything. I've spent the last couple of years thinking he's depressed & tried being patient, but the constant negativity & lack of effort at life is driving me nuts!
Please, any advice welcome.

Leave him.You don’t want the same things, simple as that.

It sounds horrendous. Why? Just, why?

If you don't live together, then there's nothing stopping you from leaving him really is there?!

You don't sound compatible.

You know it's ok to just say enough, good bye, I wish you well but just not with me, right?

Ended it with my OH yesterday for similar reasons. Plus, the only time he was ever enthusiastic was when he was going out with the boys.

I feel happier already. He was draining the life out of me x

And he benefits your life how? He sounds like a bad habit you can't break.

@Fatted we work together! Both full time & we both love the job! #awkward Been questioning if I'm a perfectionist & should lower my expectations & accept differences. But inside I'm screaming - walk away

we've left 3 festivals before the last song/encore because he wants to beat the traffic!)

I'd leave him for this alone. He sounds a desperately boring old fart. Life is for living!

Why carry on? Sounds like a complete waste of space. Onwards & upwards OP (& that’s a low low bar he’s set - practically anyone would be upwards!)

@TheMistressQuickly well done you - Enjoy your Summer! 😁

What a total delight! He sounds like the human equivalent of Grumpy cat!

should lower my expectations & accept differences. But inside I'm screaming - walk away

No don’t lower your expectations. It’s a good thing to have standards!

You don’t sound compatible. He’s too boring for you and it’s starting to drain the life from you.

I’d cut my losses and find someone a bit more fun/kind/interesting.

Can you not say that you will still work with him in business,but don't wish to be with him as a man partner anymore..Maybe he will then get to grips about his boring behaviour if he knows how crappy he has been.

Eurgh, he sounds like an absolute delight! I can’t fathom why you’re struggling to be with him one iota OP... .

Just leave, this won’t improve in any way. You’re clearly happy with your life otherwise, he’s just dragging you down.

Does he have any redeeming features op?

clutches at straws

Presumably you had a job before you met him. What did those people do when leaving? Do that.

But you aren't happy. So it's up to you to instigate changes that do make you happy, be that insist on changes to your relationship or leave him.
Life is too short to be unhappy. Perhaps get a new job first if necessary.

If you are not happy leave him.
If you are not compatible leave him.

Do not try to turn him into the person you think he should be.
That does not work, and it would not be right.

This will only get worse as he gets older and more set in his ways. You're not compatible, set each other free.

He's a horrible, lazy dullard. You can do better...which you already know. Get rid. Relationship isn't going anywhere.

It sounds like you aren't compatible.

Listen to the inner screaming - it is always there for a reason.

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting more out of life. I am an energetic person there's no way I would be compatible for someone with so little 'get up and go', either.

You've nothing in common, he's a killjoy and you're not happy. End it. It's a relationship, not a sentence. You may have to tread carefully because of the work situation but you know you need to end it