How to rebuild life after emotionally abusive relationship?

[healingheart2]

Hi everyone 👋🏼 I broke up with my emotionally abusive ex of 7 years on and off a month ago! I feel such a sense of relief but also still miss having someone in my life and this is the longest I’ve had no contact with him.

Tbh I didn’t really have much of a life other than him I work from home and only have 3-4 friends and none of them live local although my mum lives close. But I suppose the relationship with him just took so much of my energy and time I feel really lost now and don’t know what to do with myself I feel very lonely as I really don’t want to date right now I feel very damaged from the relationship and just want to heal first.

How do I go about rebuilding my life now?

Thanks in advance :)

hi healing. I think having a period of time out to rebuild is a good thing. There are so many people going from one relationship to another without taking time out in between and is so important. I would say, dont put too much pressure on yourself. Dont think you have to be doing this and that. Pause and reflect. and maybe from that you will get some more clarity of things youd like to do, places youd like to go etc. Enjoy the little things that make you happy and be kind to yourself.

I've been through this. The best advice I can give you is to remember that healing is not linear.
There will be times when you feel like you're making a breakthrough and moving on and then suddenly everything crashes down again. This is normal! Every day you will get a little stronger and the crashes will be fewer.
Find something you love and are passionate about and throw yourself into it.
Surround yourself with people who support you if you can. Say yes to things! Accept invites to places.
The worst thing about those types of abusers is they love to make themselves the centre of your world until there's nothing else in it but them. Change that! Meet up with old friends and 100% stay no contact.
I promise it gets easier

Hi OP. Well done for breaking free and going no contact! That’s very brave.

I’ve also left a relationship about six weeks ago. I left because he was cheating although some have suggested he could have been abusive.

What helped me is making a list of things to do. It doesn’t have to be an extravagant bucket list like travel America or anything like that. Just some small bits and bobs to give you something to distract yourself.

For example, on my list I have arrange to renew passports and once I’ve done that oil a trip abroad. Get my hair highlighted. Get my teeth whitened. Sort out all clothes and get some that I don’t wear into a charity bag. Little things like that I found have helped.

I also second what pisspants said. Take some time out for you. It sounds like you’ve got your head really screwed on by saying you don’t want to date. I think that’s a good idea.

I read something recently saying “if you don’t take the time you need to heal you will bleed on people who didn’t cut you” and I really felt that.