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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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To leave or stay

5 replies

Sarahnew87 · 27/06/2019 15:35

So I am the poster girl for attachment parenting. My little one is 18months and sleeps with me, naps on me, I make sure she gets out to socialise with other kids, goes swimming, to the park, to play groups etc
She is very clingy to me but is ok once she’s warmed up in a group. My husband has basically taken a back seat and now I am thinking of leaving I can’t handle the thought of having to share her.
Does the sharing part get easier as they get older?
I’m really in 2 minds if I should stay for her so she can have both her parents.

OP posts:

MNHQ

JoMumsnet · 28/06/2019 16:33

Just bumping this thread for you, @Sarahnew87

Auellica · 28/06/2019 17:23

If you want to leave, leave. Staying in a situation you’re unhappy with is more damaging to your child in the long run.

Your daughter has a right to an equal relationship with both parents. It’s both of your responsibility to ensure it happens.

It means making sacrifices to do so.

lifegoes · 28/06/2019 19:39

Personally, if you don't want to be with him leave.

Life is too short. Plus what are you letting your daughter grow up thinking. Would you want her to stay in a unhappy relationship for years because she thought it was the right thing to do (because that's what her mum said).

Just a thought

Blanca87 · 28/06/2019 20:50

All parenting is about attachment, some can atune to their child needs more than others. You sound possessive over your child, which is not a healthy attachment style. The fact you would consider leaving your partner because you don't want to share a relationship of your child with their father is weird. Maybe seek counselling.

Needsomebottle · 28/06/2019 23:16

I think she means she's considering staying because she doesn't want to share her. Or that's how I read it?

Either way, you need to share your child so she can build self confidence. My DD was very attached to me, I didn't actively encourage it (or so I thought but perhaps I did inadvertently) but largely brought about by DH being quite absent through work in the early years. She spent literally years sobbing when I dropped her off at nursery, school, grandparents etc and it's horrible to deal with. and I've got a very shy little girl now. I do think it played a part. It's healthy for her to have good relationships with other people. And healthier for you too. Don't stay just so you can stifle each other.

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