Just gave DP an ultimatum.

[Thisizit]

Either he pulls his socks up and stops drinking or he leaves.

Last night I found him asleep sat up at 4am having dranky at least 6 beers (from what I see in the bin)

He took the kids to school and is now asleep.

I just said it's not normal.

He has had a rough time lately and is also grieving the loss of a friend but I'm not putting up with this.

He acts like I'm just being dramatic.

He has at least 50 units a week.

I came down so we could talk but I think he's gone back to sleep

And he agreed right away.

I don't think he is an alcoholic as I don't think he is dependant... But I guess I will see over the next few weeks if that is the case or not.

I used to drink a lot more than that- people here are so quick to judge it's unreal. Well done OP you've had a chat and come to a conclusion!

I really hope you're right about him OP. But people on here are posting as they are because they have seen it all before. For your sake I hope your DP is the exception who manages to turn it around.

Because alcoholics cannot 'just' have one or 'just' drink on weekends. It doesn't work

The cult of Alcoholics Anonymous, the conveyor belt, supermarket psychology. Throw the person away, OP ignore that and trust that your person has been having a bad time recently and go with him, just because things are not picture perfect, does not mean the relationship should be 'thrown away' and the person you love abandoned.

You know nothing about him, his past, childhood, our relationship or kids.

No we don’t but we do know he drinks to excess and it’s not unusual (actually it’s the bloody norm) that making promises he will have great difficulty sticking to is par the course. What then OP? Ultimatums are as effective as your ability to follow through.

OP... Sending you massive hugs x

I have done exactly the same as you my lovely. My husband has done 4 weeks only drinking at the weekend.

His usual consumption was between 4-10 cans a week night, usually 8. More on the weekend. This has been the way for at least 13 years. He is adamant he does not have an alcohol problem as he works and is fully functioning.

I have kicked off before and he has stopped or cut down for a few months but it's always crept back up. 2 years ago I threatened to leave if he didn't sort it out. He didn't.. I didn't leave.

I am stronger now and I will do it this time as it has affected our teen daughter. I talked to her about it and she said that she would support me if he started drinking too much again.

Don't feel alone. Just please don't leave it as long as I have. It just gets harder xx much love and strength x

Just a little update.

Since the conversation he hasn't drank at all.

Last night was the first night he has drank as he is away with friends for a memorial weekend, so he will be drinking tonight too.

But apart from that he hasn't had a drop.

There's even cans in the fridge he hasn't touched from when we had the conversation.

He says he doesn't need to drink he just likes to but it isn't worth our relationship so is only drinking on occasions.

That's really good news OP, long May it continue