AIBU to be annoyed with Husband?

[sheclimbedupatree]

Hi, first time I’ve posted so please bear with me! My husband frequently works very late but the other night he didn’t come in till 4:30am, was sick in the toilet and then grumpy in the morning and struggling to get going with kids breakfast. He does the school drop offs so I had to leave for work and I felt really uncomfortable leaving knowing he was hungover. My first instinct was that I was being a stick in the mud and I shouldn’t resent him blowing off steam, but I can’t let go of my annoyance with him about it and that it was irresponsible and he needs to grow up for our child’s sake as well as his health. AIBU?

He’s not working late if he’s coming in pissed at 4am is he? How often is hein that state?

Coming in at 4.30 pissed?

Doing the school drop off?

No chance

If he came home so drunk he was sick in the toilet at 4.30, he wasn't in a fit state to drive them to school. (If he was driving). He could have been stopped, tested and banned, or he could have had an accident with your dc on board. I'd be furious.

It’s rare for it to be that bad, usually a bit drunk in about midnight- his job involves lots of client dinners etc.

He’ll be back in the office this morning for sure and the school drop off (walking not driving) will be done. It’s a good point though, I wonder if it’s because he still functions the next day he doesn’t see a problem with what he’s done.

Would he has been safe and legal to drive? There's no excuse for him putting his children at risk.

Drink driving definitely

He was irresponsible to drive, and you should have intervened to prevent him from doing so.

Why was your first instinct thinking that you are a stick in the mud?.
(Is that what he has previously told you?).

Some jobs do involve client dinners but not all people who entertain them roll in at 4.30am, throw up in the loo and remain on a comedown from alcohol the next morning. He was still in this comedown state when he walked your child to school and then to work. He was most certainly not stone cold sober.

My questions to you are as follows:-

Do you think he has a drink problem?
What do you get out of this relationship?.

Do people not read - HE WAS WALKING!!

Crikey. If my husband did that with no prior notice then I’d be seeing a divorce solicitor! Have you not even had a go at him!!

He was walking... he didn’t drive at all that day (short walk to school, train to work)

Thanks for the replies. It’s been helpful to sense check that I’m not being over the top.... yes I did have a go and have let him know in no uncertain terms that it’s not what I consider to be responsible behaviour and he can’t do it again. I get the sense he thinks I’m over reacting though, hence asking for other opinions.

I suppose the best thing to do is have a calm talk with him and lay out why it’s unacceptable and that it’s making me question our relationship.

His behavior was disgusting.

Seems to really love his job. I don't enjoy work dinners. What's he really up to OP? This behaviour is despicable

Work 'dinners' until 4am?

Getting that drunk with clients is really unprofessional, and I wouldn't have left him with the kids this morning.

He's a massive twat.

I also think he should be courteous enough to text if he's coming in at that hour knowing full well you need to get up for work.

I think it's good you left him to get on with the school run despite having almost no sleep (I might feel differently if he was driving) - consequences of his actions. If you'd done it for him, it wouldn't have been so painful.