Struggling to make new friends

[hummusscot]

Hi all.

I'm in my early twenties and I left an abusive relationship about a year ago. It's been such a profound and amazing year and I've learnt so much but I'm struggling with maintaining friendships. My ex isolated me from everybody and I lost a lot of people and I didn't get the chance to make new friends whilst with her either. It's been a year now and I feel so lonely it hurts. I've never been a bubbly, outgoing person so it's always been hard but this is so much worse. I know how to make friends initially (or at least make connections), I just don't know how to keep it up. I feel so rubbish and boring. Any advice?

Join a social activity like a community choir or swing dance classes.

The latter certainly has a huge social element.

It's good to meet people through a shared activity because then, when you are struggling to find things to connect over (I've been in a similar position to you), you will always have the activity to fall back o as a subject matter.

As you begin to build shared experiences, you will have those to talk about too.

Have you tried mending bridges with your old friends?

As before join a new club or sport. Alot of these have social aspects too.

There are websites such as meetup that help you connect with people with similar interests. I have never really used it as it is not popular in the area I am in, but it might be where you are.

I moved to DP's side of the country. I started up a book club, it was a great way for me to meet new people and I have made some lovely friends from it. Now we meet once a week to chat and rarely pick a book any more!! lol