Letting dads do it their way?

[calcium]

Does anyone out there have dads who think they know better than us mums?? I have a lovely partner who adores his daughter but insists on doing everything his way and ignoring anything I ask him to do. For example changing nappies, he has to dangle our daughter under the tap to clean her! or when he actually takes over a night feed and I ask him to do in quietly in a darkened room so I can continue to sleep and that she doesn't wake up to much he has to parade her around the house turning all the lights on and changing her nappy and clothes therefore waking her up screaming so I too wake up. Maybe you will all tell me I am totally over reacting and I should let him find his footing but at present I just want him to support me until I am happy to trust him with our little one. This is causing our relationship to be very strained, any tips??

My dh has taught ds to jump off the settee into his arms, though now he frequently tries to jump off while there is nobody there to catch him. He taught him that going down a slide head first is much more fun and now every slide, if possible, is head first. And Playzone has alot to answer for, 2 hours in there with dad and I have a 23 month stunt man.

Luckily my dh didn't teach our dd (aged 20 months) to climb onto the windowsill - she taught herself!! She gets her bag on her shoulder, puts her shoes on, says "ByeBye" and starts climbing. Needless to say all windows are now firmly shut. She's definitely the youngest child I know that wants to leave home - must be something to do with her SAHD teaching her "Bah Bah Black Sheet....My Mum's got a big black bra" (I wish!!).

I think it's part of a dad's job to encourage their kids to be a bit more adventurous. I settled for my dh taking them to the playground on his own (I couldn't bear to watch) while I repeated the mantra "He loves them just as much as I do, he loves them just as much as I do....". I must say that as a result I do have two children who are physically very able and confident for their ages.

Sobernow, I hear film stuntmen are extremely well-paid... maybe they'll be keeping you in your old age.

OK this takes the biscuit. I actually got some sleep last night, dd slept for 4 hours fed and then another 4 hours so on waking for once I had some milk to express. I managed 3 oz an all time record, I was so pleased with myself as I would give it to her tonight. Anyway I put her to sleep went to the gym and asked dh to look after her for an hour. Just before leaving the gym I rang to see if she had awoken. Yes and then dh said " there was no milk for my coffee".... yes you guessed it " I used some of hers in the fridge"!! How much only 2oz of it, I was livid. All that good work done by yourselves about letting them find their footing, well stuff that he has a list of tasks for today and I am going to get him to pay for a nice massage at home for me, can you believe it???

Oh Calcium I would have been devastated, I think. You have every right to be seriously peeved.

I'm shocked speechless....!

My Grandpa once drank some milk that my Mum had expressed for me, while I was in Special Care. She'd left it in the fridge in a Kilner Jar, and he thought that the milkman had changed over to jars from bottles!

you're more than justified in being livid - finding your own way of doing things is one thing, but thoughtlessly destroying hard work - and knicking the babs food (well he can hardly nip to the shops to get some replacement EBM) is quiet another - put him on-line and let us at him

Tissy - LOL although I know dreadful expressing for a babe in special care is. I'm sure you didn't laugh at the time.

Calcium please dont take this the wrong was but his behaviour sounds a bit hostile and not just thoughtless to me. Is something else going on? Is he trying to express something? (pardon the pun)

he is just typically selfish, didn't even begin to think how it would effect me and dd. Heh I should be used to it but geez did it pee me off! I can assure you he won't be doing it again and if he does I will make HIM express the milk that will surely teach him ha ha ha... I can laugh now. To add insult to injury dd didn't seem to keen to take what was left of it tonight oh well obviously a conspiricy going on.

I am amazed at that - have you ever tasted breast milk? It really is disgusting (well I thought so), I can't imagine the coffee hides the strange taste.

You make sure you get that massage.

Phillipat - we obviously have very different taste buds, or milk ducts, I liked it, very sweet and a little creamy - it's the powdered stuff I can't stand.

Yes I thought it was lovely too. I asked dp if he wanted to try some and he was positively disgusted at the idea (I was kind of offended - he will drink the milk of some stinky farmyard animal, but not that of his beloved!)

maybe I'd eaten something odd the day I tasted it - creamy was not the word I'd use!