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Struggling with family life

5 replies

thecatsarecrazy · 25/06/2019 13:25

Everything just seems to be getting on top of me lately.
Im a sahm since November to a 2 year old I also have a 12 and 10 year old son.
My eldest and youngest are both moderately deaf and wear hearing aids. My eldest was fine was happy to wear them from 2 properly and his speech developed fine. In fact he was quite an early talker.
My youngest refuses to keep his ears in. It's a stress for me and him. His speech is behind. He can respond without them in but words come out wrong for eg munny for mummy. He's been referred for speech therapy. She came the week before last she's met him before at a toddler group for deaf children but was with my husband. She can see his speech has improved since then. In all honesty I didn't like her much. Just the way she spoke to me. She said oh he doesn't follow instructions. She was asking him to brush a toy bunnies hair. I said he does for eg getting wetwipes when asked. She said yes but did u point to them? I was left feeling deflated. She said she would write a report and come back in 2 weeks. Well i wrote down Wednesday (tomorrow) but she phoned and said she was coming today. Its thrown me right out because i like to have the house clean and tidy if i have visitors. Like making sure no stinky nappies in nappy bin cat tray empty front room dusted and vacuumed. I know its stupid but its how my brain works. Ive managed to get it presentable but now im on edge. I said on the phone oh i thoughtit was tomorrow and she just said no is it a problem then. I said no its fine. She wants to bring another woman with her this time who I haven't met before.
Also last week my week my eldest was diagnosed as being on the spectrum. We suspected it but now im worried my youngest is too. My life just seems to be full of worry and appointments. My dh works ft and i don't drive. Next month i have a pediatrician appointment and 2 hearing. I just never seem to get a break from it and worry all the time.

OP posts:
LadyBumclock · 25/06/2019 13:32

That does all sound full-on OP. Three kids is hard enough anyway, with the hearing issues and ASD as well I'm not surprised you're stressed and worried. I understand about wanting to be prepared for a visit and you're not alone, a lot of people feel the same - and this woman does not sound very sympathetic to you and what you're going through.

It does sound as if you're getting ground down. Could you see your own GP (if you have a nice one), HV, and say how you're feeling? They might also be able to put you ion touch with other parents or supportive groups.

And/or do you have anyone to lean on in real life - can you ask DH to have the kids at the weekend while you have a day off, see friends or family, or just go out on your own for a break, go shopping, read a magazine in a cafe? Everyone needs that sometimes. Will your 2yo be going to nursery fairly soon? - that should also help.

Brew and a (((hug)))

thecatsarecrazy · 25/06/2019 13:38

Thanks so much for your reply. I had a Saturday to myself a few weeks ago. Met my mum, did some shopping went for lunch had a gin but then i get home and faced with all the untouched dishes. Dh will do them if nagged but dinner will be a Chinese if left to him. There's a deaf childrens group here once a month but the last 3 times only me and ds have turned up. We have applied for nursery but only one morning a week to see how he gets on. Waiting fo find out when they can have him.

OP posts:
WonderingHowToChangeThis · 25/06/2019 16:35

Are you in contact with the NDCS?

thecatsarecrazy · 27/06/2019 13:41

Yes but they just do the odd day out nowhere near here, there's a special group put on once a month but only me and ds turn up. Im having a really low day today. Took ds to play group and honestly felt like crying. Nobody spoke to me ds just kept walking round, it's obvious from seeing other children how behind he is i feel like a failure

OP posts:
EKGEMS · 27/06/2019 20:28

It sure isn't easy being a mom, let alone a special needs one to multiple children! I have one with severe special needs who is almost 19 and all the extra appointments,therapy,medicine,surgery can really be stressful! Some days I think to myself thank God I didn't have twins! (I'm a twin and my father had twin siblings.)
Good luck OP!

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