I don’t know how best to say this so i’ll Just come out with it: DH and I were arguing and he shoved me. Not a little push, a shove with all his strengths which sent me flying, I landed on my bottom a couple of meters back and my glasses flew off my face. I am not exaggerating, he is a big man, I am small and he put all his strength behind the shove.
I am in complete shock. I cannot believe I am the kind of person who would allow herself to become a victim.
DH is gone, I asked him to leave. At first he tried telling me how it was my fault for being in a bad mood and arguing with him, but I stopped that and told him it was all on him. We do argue a lot, we are both under a lot of stress, we also talk a lot and try to sort things out, but he cannot control himself. He has exploded with anger before but never become physical. Then he became remorseful and said he could not believe he had gone that far and that he could only apologize and he knew it was not enough. I didn’t engage, told him to leave.
Where do I go from here? I really need to talk to someone but I am a stupid idiot with no friends. My best friend died 18 months ago, I a man autistic and find it difficult to make friends despite desperately wanting to and my mother is an abusive narcissist. I am not in the UK. What do I do with myself and the DCs? I can’t go home, I only have my awful mother there.
I am sorry if this message is a mess I a must writing through tears, the DCs are at school. I have friends to entertain this evening and the school play.