Is his ex wife BU?

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My best friend has started a romantic relationship with a mutual friend. They seem really happy together although it’s early days.

Thing is, his ex wife is also a mutual friend and she has hit the roof. Even though they got divorced over 10 years ago.

She’s basically making me and other mutual friends to choose.

Whilst it’s understandable that she might be a bit shocked because we’ve all been friends for years, I can’t help think she’s being unreasonable. It would be different if they’d just split up but given that SHE left him for OM and they’ve both been in other relationships since the divorce.

I feel really torn and hate feeling in the middle of it all.

WWYD?

I'd tell her she can't dictate your friendships, and let her strop off she wants to.

Yea I think that too.

But most are siding with her and freezing best friend, and now me too for “siding” with her.

I wouldn’t expect any of my friends to get with an ex of mine, no matter how long ago the relationship was.

Stick with your best friend, it’s ridiculous to get in a strop if they’ve been split for over 10 years. Or over one year come to that.

I wouldn’t expect any of my friends to get with an ex of mine, no matter how long ago the relationship was

But I don’t think they went out to get together. They say they fell in love through spending time together because of a mutual hobby and it was as unexpected to them as everyone else.

My friend is a good person and there’s no way she would have got with him just for a fling. Are you saying they should give up a potentially happy future because his ex, who had an affair and left him for OM, doesn’t like it?

The stupid cow left her husband for another man a decade ago. Tell her to grow the hell up, be happy that 2 people are happy together and stick with your best friends.

She’s not really a stupid cow though Musti although I do think she’s quite controlling which is becoming very apparent right now. She’s basically turning all our friends against best friend.

I wouldn’t expect any of my friends to get with an ex of mine, no matter how long ago the relationship was.

That would be a very selfish stance to take in the circumstances.

So XW left for OM ten years ago, but she doesn’t want any of her friends to have a relationship with him?

Either she’s acting like a spiteful child, or she knows something about his character that she doesn’t want to disclose, but she doesn’t want any of her friends to be exposed to.

I suspect it’s the former, in which case she needs to grow the fuck up, but if it’s the latter then she’s going about things in the wrong way and nobody would believe her now anyway after the way she’s behaved.

I think growing up would be my advice to her in either scenario.

And honestly if mutual friends are gonna ditch your bf for this, thry aren't her friend.

Are there kids in the middle of this?

So XW left for OM ten years ago, but she doesn’t want any of her friends to have a relationship with him?

Yes, and what’s worse is that she’s making everyone who hasn’t frozen best friend out feel really uncomfortable and like they’re a bad friend. I’m obviously sticking with bf because, well, she’s my best friend but it’s costing me my place in the social group too. It’s really horrible and I wish everyone wasn’t so scared of the ex. The trouble is that she has the biggest house of us all so most of our socialising happens at hers. She loves to play hostess and to be fair she’s a very generous one. Urgh! It’s all so horrible and complicated.

Yes, 4 grown up children who’ve all left home. 3 of them are fine about it, one of them is actively hostile.

Jesus, best friend this best friend that.. You are all people in your own right. Tell ex to grow up, she can't control exh. Those who side with her need to grow up to, it's not their business, what are they 12!!!

She left him for another man, so loses the right to dictate which he goes out with.

I myself wouldn't get with a friend's Ex...but if I had an affair, I'd feel I'd lost the moral high ground and would shut my mouth.

Typo
Ex...but if like your friend I had an affair, I'd feel I'd lost the moral high ground and would shut my mouth.

Such a highschool drama. Tell her to grow up already.

Yes his ex wife is being very unreasonable !

Wait, you're all staying friends with her because she has the biggest house?? I've heard it all now. One, noone dictates to me who I can be friends with. Two, I would be happy to see any friend in a nice relationship. Three, that woman should be happy to see her ex happy after she did the dirty on him all those years ago. Conclusion, find some decent friends and leave them to it.

Tbh is weird she and her ex still hang out with their old friends plus he new partner. Surely anyone herrings into the group is going to be weird