Have I been played at 39??

[Jazminpoppy]

Hello , before reading this please do not judge .
So I have been talking to a guy on and off for about 10 months now. Online and through texts.
He wanted to meet up several times but I told him I wasn't ready at first as had just come out of a ten year marriage, 3 kids in tow and I dont do one night stands . etc.
Anyway cut a long story short after his initial flirting he said he was happy to just stay friends as we got on well, he asked several times to meet at local play park with kids ad he had 2 of his own . I just said not yet sorry I dont want my kids meeting another man other than thier father.
He actually said he respected this .
We continued to chat and had phonecalls also where we laughed a lot as seemed to have lots in common and sometimes convo.got quiet deep he opened up a lot more and was honest about his ex and how much he loved her when they were together, devestated they split . He seemed to always have his kids or work and a mate of mine said look just meet this guy already !
After lots of persuation I met him for drinks about 8 weeks ago , it went so well. I was so nervous but he seemed to ease my nerves. Since that first date we've met up twice for drinks. Ive made it clear im not up for just one night stand, he says if I was just interested in that I would of given up on you a long time ago, we both laughed. So last weekend 4 the date, we decided to make a night of it, meal and drinks. Fab night , I ended probably a bit more tipsy than I should of been but this guy really made me feel comfortable.
So...we ended up having sex , it was great! We talk for ages after. He drops me home and kissess me goodbye and says see you soon gorgeous. I get into bed and crash out. Next morning I get a text saying hi how are you today? So I just say little hungover, thanks for dropping me home and thanks for a lovely eve...his response your welcome.
I though hmm no thanks back or no compliments, oh well.
I played it cool got on with my day and didn't bombard him with msgs or seen needy.
Now I didnt hear from him properly over the next couple days.
I thought I'll give him some space.
Then he msg me but his pattern changed , he would seem to start messaging and I would reply and he doesnt open the msgs for like a whole day. I had a gut feeling he was trying to faze me out. So ive now left it to him and he hasn't msg me in three days now. I stupidly after a few glasses of wine and Bad advice from drunk mate message him last night and he hasn't even opened it
Ive been played havent I?? its mortifying. I'm too old for this crap!
What shall I do?
Shall I just block and move on?
Please people , brutal answers
Xx

Maybe, maybe not... you weren’t serious and didn’t agree on exclusivity before sleeping together so it’s possible it’s just fizzled for him, or he realised from the intimacy he didn’t feel anything deeper or romantic for you, or he’s gotten serious with someone else... I know it’s hard dating after a long marriage, but unless you’re actually in a relationship or exclusive before sleeping together you don’t owe each other a repeat performance or continuing to date.

The best approach is to only have sex when you want to, when you know if that’s all it is you’re happy with it anyway, either don’t have sex until you’ve been together for a little while and have some evidence of progress (meeting friends or family for example), are exclusively monogamous, or have sex when you want sex but know it doesn’t tie either of you into anything further unless you both really want it.

Of course it’s possible he just fancied the chase, who knows. But it’d be okay if you decided after sex you didn’t want to continue dating so it’s okay for him too. Neither of you are committed to each other.

I will add it’s probably the classier thing to do to just outright tell you he doesn’t think you’re going to go further together. But so early in dating, someone slowly losing interest is a lot more common than a big emotional ‘break up’ when you were never together. Someone’s disinterest is an answer in itself, you didn’t need to send the text asking and get his reply to know it’s dead in the water. If he was into you he’d be pursuing you and asking you out again and you wouldn’t have a doubt.

Wasn’t sensible to invest so much time before meeting up in person (without DC). Creates false sense of intimacy.

Not played, no. It's possible the relationship isn't going anywhere; but I don't think he has played you.

@EmmeraldRubyShark thanks for your response.
I agree with everything your saying , I just needed to hear that or see it clearly if that makes sense.
Ive learnt from this that I dont think I can do the unattached no emotion sex thing. Its been a good learning experience for me and I won't be rushing out to do anything like this anytime soon x

Ok maybe played is the wrong word. I actually myself didnt see it going anywhere. So its not that I'm hoping and praying that he asks me out again. There were actually a couple things i though I dont this is going anywhere. Its not really about whether he wants to c me again or lost interest, I know the answer to that already . Thats not what I text him btw it was just a hello.how are u kind of text.
I'm not a clingy person or anything like that at all.
I think I just expected a couple of polite msgs back rather than the rude ignoring , I can cope with rejection. I suppose its the rudeness that bothers me the most.
Its my prob not his, ive been out of the game for a long long time and wasn't sure if this was the 'norm' now or if I'd been played in some way, I dunno just learning all over again I suppose.
Also like you said it would just be classy of him to say something like , had great time , dont c it going anywhere rather than ignore. Suppose he doesnt owe me anything either really.
Its all a learning curve x

You’ve got your head screwed on OP, I admire you! Even if he replies I wouldn’t bother responding tbh. It’s clearly over, move on. Given that you weren’t into him either maybe chalk it up to a useful ‘back on the saddle’ blowing away the cobwebs experience and you might feel better about it :)

At 34 this has just happened to me with a guy I really liked who was making out he liked me so much too. We slept together Saturday night and then the following morning after he dropped me off and kisses and a few messages after I got home all messaging just stopped. I can see he's been back on Bumble constantly but I've heard nothing and don't think I'll ever get a message from him again.

It's a lesson, albeit not a nice one. But at least we see their true colours early on.