Hello... I hope you don’t mind a newbie asking for advice? I’m exhausted and don’t know what to do.
I’ve been with my partner for five years and it has been up and down to say the least... he has had depression, hang ups from previous relationships and throughout the time together has frequently betrayed me by talking to other women about me and sexting strangers he meets on Facebook.
I am perimenopausal and have lost all confidence after putting four stone of sheer misery on since I met him as testosterone issues mean we don’t have sex.
He frequently assured me that he loves me, our two children (one each) adore each other and we have a lease on a rented house for the next two years. But there is never any promise of any future. He has told me that marriage is not on the agenda, and though the sexting has now stopped, and I have forgiven him due to the doctors believing that it is medication related, I feel like my life is slipping away and he can’t understand why I am so devastated that the relationship is going nowhere and frequently says I must be mad to even want a relationship with him anyway.
And yet he is still here. We have so very much in common, share the same outlook on life and yet he won’t commit and says that after a lifetime of hurt he will never allow himself to live ne like he has loved women in his past.
I don’t know what to do. I feel as though I should leave, though I now have no money at all as my own misery has destroyed the business I ran, and though he says he doesn’t want to split up, I can’t see a future where I will ever feel as though I’m worthy of the commitment I so desperately want.
I really feel like I’m losing my mind.