My ex and son's father told me he would like to give things a try again. We have been having sex for a while but he has always said we weren't together and that he was single, I saw it slightly different, because I'm still in love with him.
I don't trust him and never did, he has always been a player and he was an absent father for most of my dc life. He also has npd, even though he won't admit it!
Things up until here have been hard, he was on multiple dating websites (he has deleted them now) and one day when he was asleep I managed to get on his phone and what I found was shocking. I knew he was a player and of course, as someone with narcissistic personality disorder, he would be in touch with someone. I found so many messages on his phone, in fact I didn't even managed to see the end of the messages, some of them was clear that he was sleeping with them, he is also paying hundreds of pounds for escorts to come and see him, sometimes 2 at the same time. All of this whilst he was sleeping with me (and before too, but I guess before me I can't complaint). The last time he paid for an escort was a week ago, not long after that he made the decision that he wants to be with me and it wasn't the first time he paid for them whilst he was sleeping with me! He was also messaging and seeing other women during this time. I confronted him about it and he said he would stop it all if he was in a loving relationship and that I needed to trust him.
I never trusted him and this is making things even harder, I feel like there is no way out for me, as myself and my child will end up hurt anyway.
Am I making a mistake here? Should I give things a try? If I decide to not go ahead with this, I don't want my child to see him again and will completely disappear from his life. I have done a lot of research on narcissistic personality disorder and have no doubts he has it, I know it has no cure and it will just get worse. I would like to give things a try, but my mind is really confused.