Would you think this is sweet or patronising?

[Moofreemum1]

Been speaking to a guy for a few weeks now and met up last week. Got on really well. I mentioned I had an exam this week and needed to revise. Didn't say every night or anything.
One of his texts a few days ago read:
"You really need to get on with that revision, I'm avoiding asking you out this week so you can focus on revision"

My DM thinks it's sweet and thoughtful but something about that irritated me. Like I'll decide when I study and not you. What do other people think?

Trying to send texts to someone you have met with once is hard. You just don't know what they mean and one can't put xxx after each text to show good intentions each time.
He sounds fine. If he said you should ignore study and come on a date that would be insensitive anyway. So he can't win here!

My first thought I found it quite sweet but thinking about it more, it could be a bit patronising. So, I'd say, give him a chance and find out whether he's thoughtful or controlling.

Probably means well, but clunky

I know what you mean and I would hate it if it was someone I know but in this case I would give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he is just showing an interest.

Sounds patronising, look out for him taking control and telling you what to do and if it happens, stay clear! Could be first step to abusive relationship and hard to get out of! He has something going on about working/ studying/qualifications imo.

It's a small red flag re: controlling behaviour. I wouldn't dump immediately, but would keep a very close eye and dump at the next hint of controlling behaviour.

The intent is probably ok but the wording is a bit clumsy.

What would annoy me about this is that I am a grown up and make my own mind up about what I do in the time I have when I am not seeing him.

It's not revision or him. It's him and everything else you want to have going on in your life.

Some people are good at putting across tone in a text, others aren't (I'm rubbish at it)
I try to read texts in several different tones of voice if I'm taken aback by one. A single sentence can come across entirely differently read in a jokey tone or a snarky tone.

This is why I'm trying to call people more instead of texting. Theres so much room for misinterpretation in a text. I bet half the OPs on Mumsnet wouldn't exist if it wasn't for people trying to communicate by text instead of face to face or voice.

So yeah, depends what he's like in person - or just call him to establish what he's getting at.

My abusive ex was quite patronising. Made me feel stupid. Maybe that's why I feel like this. However he didn't come across patronising on our date. So could be poor wording.