Is my marriage over

[fourboysmum]

Hi ,
I'm married with 4 boys , we have been together for 15 years , we have had plenty ups and downs but have been happy and I have always felt secure in my relationship. The last 18 months have been awful we have had absolutely no relationship only communicating because of the children , I constantly tried to get things back on track but I was being completely stonewalled by my husband, eventually he told me he didn't love me anymore but was here for the children , recently my husband agreed to try and sort our relationship again and we have slowly started to become intimate again but I really feel he has no interest In working on our marriage, I confronted him yesterday he said he doesn't know if he loves me and maybe we should split up , I asked him if he was having an affair which he denies but I find this very hard to believe now , I love him and have told him I want our marriage to work but I'm not willing to continue with this relationship unless a lot of things change and we are happy together and he wants to be with me , I'm so upset and don't know what to do

I know , thanks

I couldn't be dealing with a man saying he's not sure and has to think if he loves me.

He has said he is only there for the kids and I'd say that's the truth.

You say he was always wanting sex, but you were too tired. Maybe he got fed up of the rejection.

Either way, it looks like he's checked out of the marriage.

Call his bluff and find another man ;)

then youll know lol

Thanks some much for everyone's reply's , they have all helped and made me think and a lot have been spot on I think ,

Yes I definitely think that is where all of our problems started , he got fed up of the rejection, I did often push him away but I have always loved him
but I think having my hands so full with the boys I just wasn't able for everything and so overwhelmed and I do think has checked out of the marriage now

I never thought I could deal with a man like that but when you have 4 kids i need to make sure we are doing the right thing if we spilt up ,

It is very painful to think he does not love me but I am over the initial shock of it .

The ball is in his court at the moment, if he loves me and wants this to work I am willing to put in the effort to try make it work
I have made it very clear I am not willing to stay together just for the children and feeling totally unloved and not wanted , and turn a blind eye to whatever else might be going on ,

I do feel I am close to having some sort of outcome after a very difficult time