My relationship with my mum has pretty much broken down. It’s been a year since I saw her in person (though I live a 2hr flight away in another country) and we had a huge argument which resulted in months of NC. We have moved to LC now and I’ve had months of therapy to help get my head around things.
She has always been totally self-absorbed and the argument happened because, for once, I didn’t put up with her awful behaviour...
Therapy has taught me that I have always put her feelings above my own and that I don’t have to do that anymore. I feel stronger about it all generally and less confused, and felt emotionally lighter after every session with my counsellor. My sessions have just stoped (at my suggestiion) as I feel I’m in a better place overall and there’s nothing else to unravel or work through - it is what it is.
There is no sign of things changing with my mum. I have been relieved to not be in touch with her very much, though every now and again feel immense sadness that things have got to this point. I’ve tried explaining how I’ve felt but she doesn’t get it and remains the blameless victim. I feel I should be more ‘forgiving’ or something, but then I have to remember that what I want our relationship to be, isn’t what will necessarily happen.
I can accept that but it doesn’t stop me feeling sad. She’s missed so much of my life, my DC’s lives, over the past year. I feel like the longer ‘this’ goes on the further away we will get from ever being close. Our communication is functional - generally when we need to know something from each other. I’ve made a bit of an effort with Xmas and birthdays but she makes very little back for me and DH, (though does for the kids).
Anyway, not really sure what the point of this post is. I don’t think I need any more counseling as such but every now and then it just feels so sad.