How long before i start feeling better after cheating?

[Closure]

So my ex was cheating. He ended things 4 weeks ago and said there was no one else. I caught him out on friday. We've been in contact and very randomly he brought up that his restaurant was extremely busy this weekend and hit didn't make sense after fathers day. I got a familiar feeling that all wasn't quite right. I rang the restaurant and pretended to be a difficult customer who wasn't sure what time they wanted to book a table. Every day they had lots of availability.

I asked if the main chef would be there as it didnt want to travel so far, if not. They said he was in scotland this weekend but id be in safe hands with the very good chef

I texted my ex and called him a liar and that i knew he was in scotland. He rang back and said yes he was in scotland and yes he was with someone. That they'd only been together 2 weeks after the split etc.
He was in a place of the country that had always been our place.
I gave him some sex tips given that she was in for a shit shag.

I now cant stop my brain going over everything. All the times i had that awful feeling. Like he wanted new suits. I suggested a navy one. He got one. Brought it home to show me, but was weird and then had to leave early. euckkk

together 12years. he worked away. No kids but he raised my two ds from a young age. They're now 17 and 18.

I dont focus on him. he wasnt worth it. How can i get my brain to stop unpicking all the past memories....and is that normal?
Will I get over this?
What happens if i never meet anyone again and the memory of this is the last i'll have of a relationship?

Ive got so many questions spurring around in my head? I feel like im going insane?
CAn someone tell me its going to be ok please, that i will get over this and I will have a happy ending

@WheelyCote Unfortunately that's not even close to a fifth of my story but we don't have time for that haha, this isn't about me. But thank you for being so kind. I'm afraid my knowledge comes from a lot of different areas of pain in my life. But it goes to prove that in pain there comes knowledge, enlightenment, and strength. And you'll get there. But you don't need to look him in the eyes and try to figure him out. Like I said before and you agreed: we always want to understand these alien people, find some humanity in them, some kindness, something. But even if you do see any of that, it won't be real. It will be put on, in order to get their aim of looking good to others, and gaining your sympathy. Whatever the case may be. I learned the hard way that searching for answers to these people is so futile. When you could be working on yourself. The only time to use the tools of looking at someone and gauging their truths, is when you have gone through the pain, learned the lessons, and thus learn to spot a dickhead a mile off. But if you can do it just for closure, as something you need to do, and not fall for bullshit, and still walk away, if it will help then do that. It's kind of like investigating an unknown entity under a microscope- it changes when it needs to, for survival, but what is it really? Does that make sense? Is it what it is when it doesn't need something, or is it what it acts like when it does need something? Maybe a rubbish analogy but I'm sure you get the idea. Pain has a purpose. But it doesn't have a timeline. It's also unpredictable. You just have to accept it, and go through it. I had to do it from both sides of my family. All of them. They were all toxic except my nan who passed away. When she passed away I started to see these people for what they were. They blamed me for my mum killing herself. I was 13 and a normal, if moody teen. Well of course i was, the things I saw as a child were beyond comprehension. But I didn't make her life hell, so why blame me? And not my brother? I spent years still, trying to figure out if they were right, if so how did I kill her, as they put it, as well as seeking their approval and much more. Eventually I met my now fiance and his family showed me just what family is meant to be. Now i had a good example and realised that It wasn't me with the problem, it was them. Now apply that scenario to him. It's not you, it's him. And when you meet a good man, you will finally truly get past it. You'll have a good example of a truly good man, the tinted glasses will come off, and you'll start to understand that cruel people exist. And they don't care. But it was never you. And you'll realise that good normal people exist too. And in that, I believe, Will come your final lesson; and you'll love yourself as he does. My fiance loves me so much, at first I didn't understand why, after all the horrible people in my life who made me feel evil. Eventually I had to look at what made him love me. And when I saw what those things were, I loved myself more.

I hope this all makes sense!

@WheelyCote Sorry, after my rant I forgot your post about not seeing him again, and keeping busy. That's great news. You'll be so much happier once you get through the hurt. You're on the right path. Especially not being friends. He sounds like a narcissist who needs you on hand 'as a friend' to feed his ego. Don't. Feed your own! Xx

There is a saying I love, from a rapper of all things. 'The real you isn't defined by the size of your wallet. The real you is who you are when nobody is watching'. Take out the money part and change it for the real him isn't defined when everyone is watching. The real him is who he is when nobody is watching. When no-one is watching he does as he pleases. When he has an audience he changes to fit into the other people's idea of him. Or what he wants their idea of him to be. But who is he when he isn't putting on a show? X

As for your future, yes you will meet someone else. Why wouldn't you? You're not in your 90s im guessing?

My 95 year old grandmother has an admirer who gets her gifts etc.- just saying .

@Moralitym1n1 love it! I was going to say something along the lines of even 90 year olds love a good romance, but in my rant I forgot. My apologies! She sounds awesome xx

@Moralitym1n1 and another good example of not having reason to fear not meeting anyone ever again, even the 95 year olds are at it! Don't worry! Xx