Oversharing too early?

[NewDayHasBegun]

Just something I’ve been thinking about. If you don’t know someone all that well and they tell you their big issues really quickly (like date two), is this a red flag? We’re talking big stuff to do with their childhood, abuse etc. Just interested in views - it makes me uncomfortable but can’t articulate why

I think it's a red flag. Abusive people will over share to create a false sense of intimacy. They want you to match their level of over sharing to get you to open up about your past and then they use this later against you and you feel a false sense of connection with them.

It also allows them to play the victim so that you excuse their later bad behaviour because they've had such a 'hard life'

All the abusive men I've been with have done this.

You are his date not his fucking free counsellor. Tell him to jog on. He should be interested in finding out about you on date 2, not boring you with his deep seated issues.

I have a friend who is very like this. Everyone and anyone around her knows she is going for IVF. People at unislim who see her for an hour once a week know exactly why she can't get pregnant (both his and her issues) she told my DP about her DHs swimmers and how they "act". My DP turned around after and said if we ever have issues please don't tell people, and I wouldn't but I am a personal person IRL. I think some people are just over sharers.

That said, if you normally have a good gut instinct I would back off if it made you feel uncomfortable, there could be something else going on.