Should I send him this letter?

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We broke up a year and a half ago but still kept sleeping with each other until about a year ago.

Then he said it was messing with his head so we stopped. And he never got back in touch.

At first it was fine because even though it was him that left, he only ended it because I was only half into the relationship and he got fed up of the lack of commitment from me.

Since he left though I’ve gradually realised what an amazing guy he is and am absolutely kicking myself for being such an idiot. I thought I could do better but actually the truth is that he’s probably too good for me.

I’ve dated other guys since but none of them even come close to how generous and loving my ex was. It was only because i though he was punching with me because I’m 10 years younger and physically more attractive but I’ve come to realise that looks don’t matter when it comes to love. And the annoying thing is that I now think he’s gorgeous from his Facebook updates.

I want to write him a letter telling him all this and that I’ve matured since we split up. But I’m terrified that he’ll read it and run. And even though I know what I’ve lost, I still have some pride!

What should I do?

You actually sound like you have an inflated sense of yourself. He sounds like he's moved on and is happy. Leave him alone and let him have a life without you.

I was sympathetic until you wondered if he might leave his new gf for you. You sound full of yourself.

Don't send the letter.

I don’t think you genuinely want him back. Otherwise you would not have messed him around at the time. You appeared not interested because you weren’t.

Were you thinking this way before you saw that he’s with someone?

Also, you don’t know that she’s “new” just because she’s “Facebook new” - they might have been together for several months before putting it on FB, it may be more serious and long-standing than you envisage.

I’d leave it be, OP.

People always want what they can’t have.

Until I saw he had a girlfriend I thought what have you got to lose. Leave him alone.

Almost exactly the same thing happened to me. I decided l was in love with someone as soon as he told me he had a new girlfriend. Prior to that l had hardly thought about him but wanted him as an option. Once that was closed off to me l got obsessed. It's ego, not love. Just walk away. He has moved on and it will make you feel worse if you don't get the response you want from the letter.

No. Unfriend and block him on fb and disappear forever.

Otherwise, you will keep on wondering shite like this, with no concern for his life.

You seem to mistake all sorts of feelings for love. you would do well to learn to listen to your body.

And as a simple guide - yup, friends is fine, but give it at least 20 year before you try xx

There's an actual measurable effect whereby women consistently rate photos of men as more attractive if they are told they are in a relationship than if they are told they are single. That's not because women are inherently man-stealing bitches - it's because having another woman basically vouch for him as a good bet is reassuring.

It's the same as when ads have people saying how great the product is - humans are influenced by what other people think. So don't beat yourself up for suddenly finding him more attractive for being in a relationship - but do realise what is going on and take a step back.

Unfriend him and stop thinking about him.
You’ve learnt a lesson but he has/is moving on after giving you a big chance that you didn’t take.

Now is the time for you to rebuild your life too and move on (which is much easier when you don’t constant updates from said Ex)

OP for what it’s worth I think this is more about the fact he’s moved on and now you see him in a way you didn’t before. The likelihood is that it probably wouldn’t work this time round either. He may well be lovely and better than you thought he was, but I think you’ll feel that way much sooner with someone you’re better suited to. Don’t beatyourself up about it and chase him.

Be honest with yourself - did these realisations come after seeing him smitten with someone else? If so, you need to leave well alone.