How should I feel about my husband?

[TickTock99]

I’m really confused. Been married for 10 years with 2 young children. Been together 15 years.

How am I supposed to feel about my husband? I’m not sure what’s normal and what’s not.

We’re going through a difficult time and are considering separating but I don’t know if I just have unrealistic expectations about what married life is like. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel after 10-15 years.

Wise ladies of MN can you help me get some clarity please. Thanks.

I agree puppymouse and for me some of the best sexual experiences I have had have been with the least 'suitable' people in not ideal circumstances. I think I 'got off' on that. Some lucky people (no one I've met in real life, but plenty post in here!) seem to have that kind of sexual intensity in their LTR but talking to my friends it isn't the norm.

Most things become a bit mundane after a while. Sometimes that’s why its not you that’s me rings true sometimes. I was once told that for every supermodel you lust over there is some other bloke is bored of fucking her

Take the kids out of the equation for a minute as sometimes as parents we get a lot of the love and attention from them and can be touched out and a bit indifferent towards your partners affections.

How would you feel about him/what would you be like if it was just you two?

How do you imagine it would be once your DCs moved out?

I lost my sex drive completely for many years due to a hormonal problem. But I absolutely wasn’t interested in / attracted to anyone else,the thought of masturbating would make me feel physically ill, as did the thought of any physical contact. I still loved spending time with DH though.

It now comes and goes. Sex with DH is by far the best sex I’ve ever had, up against a fair amount of competition, some of which has been horrific and some fantastic, but nothing like with him.

I can’t comprehend feeling disappointed that we get to spend time together but then we are used to spending a lot of time together and I rarely want to be alone (sometimes I need a break from the kids though!)