I’m sorry this is long, but I’d really appreciate someone’s help with this and to know what you would do?
Over the last few weeks I had noticed my DS year 7 had not been his usual self. He was also complaining of exhaustion and I could see him struggle to do even the things he enjoys. I was worried and was contemplating taking him to see the doctor if it continued.
It turns out that 2 of his friends were persistently taunting him over not having something they have. One of these friends I’ll call him HARRY (the ring leader) went to his junior school and lives very close and I know his mother, although we are not friends per se. He had been to my house and on play dates when they were younger many times.
The other boy I’ll call him SAM was brought into the friendship group by my son, much to the delight of his parents as they were worried, as he had started the school not knowing anyone and had not liked his last school due to not getting on with another boy in his class. We even helped this boy to join my son’s sports team as his parents seemed keen to get him doing activities with my son. It seems my son’s has been “wendied” however!
Yesterday I received some distressing texts from DS at school saying that he was being relentlessly taunted and ridiculed by Harry and Sam but another of his best friends he went to junior school with (I’ll call him Tom) had joined in too, which I think shocked my DS. I know Tom’s mum vaguely and they live very close by too. I do not think this is the first time it’s happened at lunch break either, I think my DS has been bottling it up.
There are about 8 or 9 of the friendship group in total I think.
My DS walked off when they wouldn’t stop and were escalating the harassment. His friend (I’ll call him Ben) who also went to his junior school saw him crying at his next lesson, said “come on let’s report this to the teacher I witnessed it all.”
Ben had been subject to the ringleader Harry’s ridicule the other week and Ben had also been reduced to tears and had reported Harry. The teachers took down both boy’s statements and was going to pass it to the head of Year who was off that day.
I have since heard that Harry the ring leader was made to go to a meeting at the school with the parents of a child he has been persistently racially abusing, just a few weeks ago.
My DS was sent screen shots yesterday night of Harry saying nasty things about my DS and when his friend defended him he was called names like cunt and was ferociously attacked. Harry has also been writing names of who he is excluding from group chats in the title. My DS and another boy in the friendship group name.
What has really upset me is today my DS said he nearly missed his bus and had to go alone because one half of his friendship group which included Harry the ring leader) had previously organised to not go home after school but to stay in the town the school is in and go out. The other half of his friends went to his kind friend Ben’s house for an event. He was the only one not invited anywhere. He told me they had been speaking about it in school today in front of him and no one had asked him to go. I suspect this was arranged by Harry and he has been deliberately excluded.
I would like to email the school, as I’m really worried about this.
Could I bring up in my email that I know about the school arranging a meeting with the for Harry the ring leader and the parents of the child he persistently racially abused.
Can I bring up knowing about Ben’s statements about being ridiculed by him.
The reason I want to do this is to show that whatever the school are doing to stop this prolific bully is not working and I want real consequences and sanctions put in place because he has simply carried on bullying regardless with not a care or fear in the world.
If anybody could give me any advice I would be so grateful? My DS is do kind and caring and I am so worried. It is delicate because it is his actual friendship group and this is what scares me.