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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Separation

2 replies

Lewishamilton · 21/06/2019 21:10

Hi first time post looking for help and advice
My wife recently told me that she wants to separate after over 20 years
I am devastated beyond belief and I now don’t see a future
We were married after only a short period and had our first child exactly 9 months to our wedding day (I know conceiving on a wedding night) my wife had a previous child from a previous relationship but this did not bother me he was 2 and half when we got married
The first year was really difficult for me as I went from being a lad about town to being married living with someone and expecting a child with another child already in the relationship
I did not handle it well at all I know that I was struggling with sex and making my wife feel wanted as soon as she got pregnant and it took a toll
When my son was born I thought things would get better but I didn’t count on how having 2 children would affect me and I think I just tried to pretend I was still single ( I never cheated on my wife)by this I mean I was out with the lads and when I was in I wouldn’t pay much interest in my wife or the children this went on until my wife moved away
At the time I decided to stay and work eventually we got back together and things were ok for a while and we got along
I know I wasn’t a good husband and I didn’t show enough attention to my wife we had totally different upbringings and I now realize this effected my relationship with her
Without going in to much detail I came from a single parent family and suffered abuse when I was younger spent time in foster homes and care homes but eventually ended back at home until I left when I was 17 to work and move away
My wife came from a family background with a mum and dad and no such problems
I know that when she moved out she was involved in a very abusive relationship with someone but I struggled to let her tell me about it as it Made me so upset to think that someone could do that to the person I love more than anything
Sorry for rambling but I want to give as much info as possible so that reply’s can help
We have had another 3 children and now we are living in a different country and my wife has a successful job and a high powered one she told me at Xmas that things were not good and I just tried to gloss over it since then she has told me she no longer wants to be intimate with me and wants to separate she has said that she has already come to terms with it and that on the countless times we have talked says that she is not the same person she was when we got married and that people change
I am struggling to cope because I love her more than anything but I also want her to be happy and I honestly don’t think I could imagine my life without her
We have been in a different country for nearly a year and it has been a massive eye opener for me effectively doing what my wife was doing for the last 20 years I think it has made me love her even more because I know how difficult it is looking after children
I don’t want to separate and I would be even willing to not have sex again if it meant we can stay together
I think that my wife has now moved on mentally and is in a different place and I am worried if I say this that it might makes thing worse and that I am basically saying I give up
My wife says that she has just lost her sex drive and that she just doesn’t think about sex at all and she sees our relationship as more of a brother and sister relationship
I have looked in to this and it says that stress and other things can contribute to this and I know my wife has a stressful job
I know that I am probably paying for me not paying her attention and not doing things together in the early stages of our marriage but I never thought for one minute that we would not be together
Any advice would be much appreciated

OP posts:
NotMyFinestMoment · 22/06/2019 00:16

I think it might be a case of too little, too late now. By your own admission you have not been a good husband (or a good father based on what you wrote above). It took you all of 19 years for you to only begin to understand things from your wife's point of view. During that time, she raised 5 children and lost close to 20 years of her life to a man who didn't really give a damn about her. When your wife approached you 6 months ago to say there was a problem, you dismissed her. Now some 19 years later, you are only prepared to take her seriously because she is leaving. She should have left you a long time ago. You didn't deserve her 19 years ago and you don't deserve her now. All through your marriage you have mainly only ever thought about yourself and the same applies now. You should respect the woman and let her go. You've put her through enough. I can't speak for your wife or any other woman, only myself, but when the love is gone, it's gone.

TanMateix · 22/06/2019 00:35

I once found a very nice analogy saying that love is like a garden... there’s no point in watering it when you have let the plants go dry.

I really don’t think you can do anything to change her mind, but what you can do is try to be a good father now, and the best way to do it when parenting separately is to be civil to and respectful of the other parent, and by that I mean, realise she needs her own space to raise those kids in peace

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