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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So fed up of this

5 replies

LuckyCharm9 · 21/06/2019 20:40

First time posting about this so it may be long, sorry!
I’ve been with DH for 10 years, married for 5, 1 dd.He has always had an issue with alcohol, I would describe him as binge drinker.

He works nights, has done for the most part of our relationship, briefly gave up when dd was a baby and then went back as it was more money.
Our relationship in the last 2 years has been terrible, we have gradually drifted apart. I feel like I’ve spent so much time on my own (evenings and weekends) that I’m used to it and used to it being just dd and I.

I have told him how I feel numerous times over the last two years, suggested counselling etc and nothing has changed. The issues with the alcohol are still in our relationship, he will drink on a Sunday night usually until 4/5am and be a complete idiot. Picking arguments etc.

He never makes anytime for us, doesn’t help out around the house and is always ‘tired’.
We have no sex life due to him telling me he didn’t want to have sex as I’m fat. For context, I’m probably a stone heavier than when we first met.
It feels like we’ve grown apart, we had an argument the other day and he threatened divorce and I honestly didn’t care if it happened.

I feel like he has no respect for me, he has it pretty easy at home, literally has to work and sleep. I deal with all bills, childcare, school lunches etc.
I don’t think I want to married to him anymore.

OP posts:
pog100 · 21/06/2019 21:05

Then don't be. It's clearly not making your life happier being with him. I can't see why you stay?

LuckyCharm9 · 21/06/2019 21:21

We discussed it and he said he wouldn’t leave the house. I want to tell him, I don’t know how to.

OP posts:
PolarBearBubbles · 21/06/2019 21:33

He sounds like a total drain on your life OP, you poor thing.
Please don't refer to it as 'helping around the house'. It's not your job that he could help with, it's a joint responsibility. One that he's shirking entirely, along with his parenting duty by the sounds of it. You deserve much better.

happybunny007 · 22/06/2019 00:06

Do you own or rent?

LemonTT · 22/06/2019 00:21

Basically you stay married to him forever living in the same house or,
You start divorce proceeding and live in the house until the courts order it sold as part of the settlement.

He is threatening to live with you either way. Just remember, one option is a life sentence and the other has an end point.

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