Panicking - will I ever meet someone?

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I’m told I’m very attractive. Men always stare at me. But don’t talk to me. But on OLD I hardly get any interest I think due to my age - I’m mid 30s. I’ve had long term relationships but never fell in love - until last year but he ended up being wrong for me. I’m desperate to meet someone and settle down and have kids. It’s happening to everyone but me - and I keep panicking. I always used to be so objective about things but time isn’t on my side anymore and I don’t want to settle. What the hell do I do? How do I meet him? I’m seriously panicking.

Few men have the gumption to go up to strange women and try and chat them up, no matter how attractive they might find them. There's men who will hit on strange women all day, but they are in the minority.

And when you say you "hardly get any interest on OLD", do you mean from men in general, or just from men you are attracted to?

I used to get a huge amount of interest on OLD in my 20s, but while I don't look much different (I have to carry ID with me everywhere), I've noticed a serious drop in the interest I get. My other friends mid 30s also report the same.

I'm getting no interest, and I've always struggled to fancy men.

So it's going to be even more difficult than before. And it's really starting to stress me out. I don't want to have to settle again. The pressure, my biological clock is starting to consume me.

I'm in the same boat at same age by the sound of it.

And sorry to drip feed, I'm also desperate to move on from that failed relationship. I've tried everything to move on, I think the only way to actually do it is to meet someone new. Tick tock. I'm miserable.

I am in the same position- I spotted your name on the other thread too- and I'm also miserably panicking. I so badly want to be a mum and every month that goes by, I think I'm no closer to meeting anyone.

I've tried OLD on and off but just find it awful.

Everyone else seems to find relationships so easy.

No advice but I understand and I'm not going to suggest joining a bloody club

Thank you SquintyLampshade we're not alone

I don’t know what OLD looks like for you, but I would suggest you join several different groups/websites. Maybe look for ones that have a focus like a particular lifestyle, favourite sport, dog/cat people, introvert/extrovert, religion, politics, music, etc. Depends on what you’re interested in of course.

On the websites, state exactly what you’re looking for. Don’t hide the fact that you want to settle down and have children. Also, I would say expand your criteria for men as far as possible. Accept people that are a little younger or a little older than your ideal. Same thing with height, baldness, previous marriages, etc. There could be wonderful people out there that you are missing because you’re weeding them out before you meet them.

Also... think about what you can bring to a relationship. Why would a man want to be your husband/partner? Looks are only one part of the equation when someone is looking to have a long-term relationship and children. Are you kind? Are you reliable? Are you trustworthy? Would you make a good mother? Would you make a good wife?

How did tour last relationship finish - did you dump him, or did he dump you?

Why was he “wrong” for you?

When you are desperate to meet the right guy, it will never happen. People can sense desperation and it is not attractive. Beyond that, you'll put up with any old shit when you're desperate.

Give up on online dating, immerse yourself in hobbies, courses, improving yourself for you.

I am really sorry to hear about your plight here,, but can't understand the world of dating,and meeting a partner these days.. I am glad that we did not need dating sites and the like years ago. I can't even imagine what it must be like to go looking on a site for a partner or such.

Maybe Ebay should have a site,like an auction for men,or women, you bid for the one you might like,and hopefully get the person cheap. with only some minor wear and tear,