Parter promotion WWYD

[sugarspicexx]

Quick back story. We're both late 20's, no kids, not married, and pay the min rent possible for where we are. (The City)

So my partner will very soon received a promotion which includes a pay rise of at least 40K. So far the dynamics of our relationship has always been 50/50 He does earn a bit more than me currently, but i've always been happy to spilt evenly. The new pay rise will mean he will be earning at least 50K more than me.

Our current salaries earns us OK money. We do save, but saving is slow because we aren't often left with much at the end of the month. I do want to progress and earn more, which i'm working on, but unclear on when this could happen.

What i'm asking is, would it be incredibly cheeky of me to ask that when he starts his new role, could he contribute more towards the rent? So 30/70? I will have an extra £200 a month disposable this way. This allows me to save more money for the things that matter (personal financial security, our future, etc) and create a more fairer structure so that we are both happy. (well, me anyway)

I understand that he should be able to enjoy the money he makes with his promotion, after all, his hard work has created this opportunity for him. Perhaps i'm being selfish?

His promotion happened very quickly, we haven't had a financial conversation about it yet. I am unsure of how I can approach it in the correct way. We are sensible with money, no worrying debts or excessive spending.

What would you do in this position?

You don’t have any commitment to each other, so I don’t really see why he should
This ^^.

Thank you. That’s very helpful advice.

Yes it would be incredibly cheeky. You say you pay the minimum for where you live - so you are paying the minimum of what it costs to live where you want to live. If you ask him you are effectively asking him to subsidise your lifestyle and lifestyle choices. If you don’t have enough money to save you need to get a higher paying job, move to a cheaper area or accept that you have less disposable income than you would like. (If he wanted to shift to more expensive accomodation because of his raise it would be reasonable to assume he pay the difference).

You are not married, you don’t have children. It would just be sponging.

Presumably OP’s DP wants her to live with him, and chose the location too. Living together implies a certain level of commitment.

The DP here could now save up to £2k a month, whereas OP struggles to save anything. A kind partner would offer to pay more rent/bills. If he doesn’t, OK, but OP should look out for herself financially.

Thank you. I know we aren’t married and have no written commitments to each other, but I would like to think that as a partnership, he would be happy to contribute a bit more so that I am also happy and secure. If he does contribution the extra £200, he will still be taking home heaps more than me.

In the meantime, I will continue to work on my own career so that we can both have a great financial future. I like to be independent and not rely on others, but in order to be independent, I need to be secure. We are now in a different position to how we were a few weeks ago, so things are available to change. It’s a difficult subject, and definitely one that has a lot of mixed opinions, which is why I want to approach it correctly.

I also think that him helping out more implies he is serious about a long term commitment. Our savings would circulate back to us in the long run.

Just living together - separate bank accounts, no kids - I'd expect everything to be split in half irrespective of separate income but if you aren't earning similar then I'd hope the higher earner would be happy about splashing out for things for the flat, any luxury items or unexpected bills and any dates out of your price bracket.
If you are both in it for the long haul I would only expect him to subsidise you after a discussion about joint future/if offered by him to balance things/allow you freedom to pursue other career opps or safeguard for the future.
Once kids are in the picture tbh marriage and joint bank account would be more usual if you are the primary care giver.