Things heating up with male friend, how to go back?

[LoveinthGarden]

I have a dear male friend I'm very close to and who brings tremendous value and joy to my life. I've been physically attracted to him from the get go but never acted on it. Recently though we admitted to having feelings for one another and the last few times have kissed and gotten very close to DTD.

We both expressed hesitation about starting a relationship together for fear of things not working out. The idea of losing him terrifies me and vice versa, and I've decided it's not worth the risk and want to move things back to being platonic.

Is this even possible now? Has anyone had success?

DTD = doing the deed.

It's possible. Just cool it a bit for a while and see how it goes. However your mutual attraction may mean that your relationship is destined to be more than a friendship. It's good that you are friends though, quite healthy to be friends first.

How are you so sure that you'd lose each other though? This could be a wonderful relationship for you both.

If you are certain you want to just be friends though, I'd tell him so that you're both on the same page and cool contact slightly. Only meet with mutual friends/in public places etc

Is he married?

Do you work together?

Not certain things won't work out, but the risk seems too big. I do tend to play things safe.

No there's nothing inappropriate going on here, we don't work together either.

Thank you, I will speak to him and try keeping distance until things cool off a bit.

This could be something amazing, OP. Don't hold off because your worried about ruining things, nobody would ever be successful at anything if we didn't take any risks in life.

If you think it would be appropriate to have a time to cool off then go for it, but if your feelings are still there after then it may be a sign that your friendship is destined to be more than friends.

Why would you hold back? It sounds like an ideal situation.

Why hold off? It's changed already - I think you're delaying the inevitable. It could be the best thing ever! Don't do this to yourself. I can hear the what ifs in 10 years time already.

And how would you feel about your friend when you watch him marry someone else because you play it safe? Life is too short.

Ive been where you are. We got close to living our friendship into a relationship several times over 4 years, when evenings together as friends went a bit further than that.

After 4 years of that we got very very drunk one night. We've been married over 10 years now