Information FOR solicitor about Domestic Abuse

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Me again 🙄
This might not be the right board but I'm betting you'll be able to help.
My solicitor is pretty clueless when it comes to domestic abuse and I need him to be on the ball and recognise what I'm experiencing as abuse. At the moment he classes my ex's behaviour as "overbearing and controlling" but not abuse per se.
Are there any good sources of information on coercive control or specifically how abusive men use the courts and the authorities/SS to continue the abuse once the relationship is over?
I really need him to understand things so he can help me. I could send him the call logs from women's aid I suppose. That might help.

In the mean time I've asked him not to just forward all my ex's nasty emails but to just let me know the things I need to know. I do t need to read his nastiness and aggressive twaddle.

I'm feeling really down today about things and really irritable and anxious. Like a massive dose of PMT. I've had enough and am just holding on. If circumstances were different I'd have run away by now and tried to disappear.

How so if circumstances were different?

What's your goal?

To get free? To divorce without being completely screwed? Access? Maintenance?

I would instead show that your X's words don't match his actions.

I had to point out to my solicitor recently that my xh had changed his ''stance'' in between two letters but that he was the victim of both positions. I asked my solicitor to go back to him to get him to clarify where he stood on that matter. My solicitor wanted to take my sentence out but I insisted it stayed in as it was the most important line in there, it will force my x to have to stick to ONE script

Highlight incongruities.

He needs to familiarise himself with the Safe and Together model. I'm a professional trained in this and the goals are for the child to stay with the non offending parent and for the default position of the worker to be partnering with the non offending parent.

Since I have trained in this, its totally changed my thinking and even the way I write reports.

Why did you pick this solicitor out of curiosity?

I picked one who is experienced at dealing with DA for this reason and it's refreshing not having to explain to him what abuse is.

Sorry, I should have explained more. We are divorced and have a child arrangements order. ExH was abusive in the marriage and has been abuse since. He takes great delight in applying to the court for no good reason, makes false allegations and involves the children in his nonsense. Women's aid have says its coercive control and harassment through the courts. I just want to be left alone without the constant fear of court applications and false allegations.

I have legal aid and there are very few solicitors who deal with legal aid near me. I've already changed solicitor once as they were completely useless.

Where do you live? Theres a new Domestic Abuse Law in Scotland. Maybe this would help?

There is a pack you can get from onemomsbattle.com to educate your legal person of choice - it is delivered anonymously though. It might be worth you getting pack delivered to the courts and judges you are dealing with too.

Personally I'd find a new solicitor - even going on legal aid, there should be some who are better - womens aid may be able to advise on good ones?

Thank you. I'll see what I can do.

Op I was literally thinking of your thread
Reason being I think you need more support

Specific examples are :
Freedom programme
A DVA advice worker and most critically a referral to a solicitor that they know and who understands abuse

So so many people don’t . I have been given some names if you PM me

You need someone who knows how shit it is and will fight your corner

How’s your DD ??

I am sorry it’s so shit still
I wish it wasn’t

I've pm'd you @Pikapikachooo

Will revert Monday as all in laptop 💻 at work xx